How to Curb a 3-Year-Old's Temper Tantrum

Standing over a child having a tantrum in a crowded store is an experience nearly every parent knows all too well. While tantrums are normal for 3-year-olds, you don't have to grit your teeth and bear them. A child this age typically has the language and behavioral skills to express his basic feelings and wants so you can reason with him. Acting quickly when you see a tantrum boiling up can end the drama before it begins.

  1. Change His Environment

    • Watch for signs that your 3-year-old is getting upset. Turning red, whining or stomping might be the precursors to his tantrums. Removing him from his current situation can prevent his tantrum from escalating. If he's surrounded by candy that you won't buy for him, move to a different aisle of the grocery store or take him out to sit in the car. When his friend won't share her toy, distract him by moving to another corner of the room and engaging him in a new game.

    Fulfill His Needs

    • Unfulfilled physical and emotional needs can cause your 3-year-old to act up. If he's hungry or tired, even a minor inconvenience can send him into hysterics. Provide a healthy snack like fruit or cheese or put him down for an early nap if he is getting irritable. He may also throw a tantrum as a way to get your attention. Try saying something like, "I see that you're very upset, and I will only snuggle you and talk to you about it once you're calm." He may settle down quickly if that's what he's craving.

    Give Him Choices

    • By age 3, many tantrums are the result of a child's desire to assert his needs and wants, clinical psychologist Ray Levy tells "Parents." Avoid a power struggle by giving your child a little control over the issue that's upsetting him. For example, if he protests that he wanted chicken instead of fish for dinner, tell him fish is what he's having, but let him choose whether he wants broccoli or peas as a side dish. If he has a tantrum at bedtime, suggest he choose which stories to read and pajamas to wear.

    Take a Time-Out

    • If a child's tantrum is in full swing or if he's endangering himself or others, a brief time-out can help him regain control. Move him to a quiet spot in the house or -- if you're in public -- into the car or onto a bench. If he's upset because he didn't get his way, tell him he'll need to stay there and that you'll stay with him until he's calm, advises KidsHealth. If he's done something negative, such as hitting or biting, set a minimum time limit for his time-out. Three minutes is generally appropriate.

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