How to Deal With Defiant Children
As children develop and mature physically, their thought processes and social skills undergo a drastic change as well. Often children enter a stage of their lives where these social skills and thought processes appear defiant and disrespectful. These changes in behavior are sometimes not meant to be defiant. During the course of human life, every individual handles certain freedoms and discipline in a unique way. This is often a stage, or brief amount of time, that evolves at ages 2, 6, 8, 13 and 16 and is generally outgrown. If the behavior persists, it may be time to take matters into your own hands to avoid trouble down the road.
Things You'll Need
- Calendar
- Notebook
Instructions
Defeating Defiance
Confront your child. In order for any issue to be resolved, an adequate direct approach must be taken immediately. Explain to the child your concerns about his or her behavior and the negative effect it is having on your relationship. Demonstrating a sense of concern about where your relationship with the child is heading reassures the child that you care. Lay down the law. Calmly explain to the child that if his behavior does not improve, there will be serious consequences. Taking away privileges such as visiting friends, watching television, playing video games, or talking on the phone are recommended for punishment. Be sure to follow through with punishments. Allowing the child to act defiant and disrespectful without consequences for his or her actions only illustrates your acceptance of poor behavior. Create a list of household chores for the child to complete daily. Chores such as washing windows, sweeping, mopping, wiping down tables, washing dishes, vacuuming, and mowing the lawn are suitable. A child must have a sense of responsibility and ability to perform tasks when directed. Set one day aside with your child just to talk. Sit down with the child and discuss what day out of the week would be convenient to spend together, just the two of you. Once a day of the week has been selected, mark the day on your calendar and keep the day clear for catching up and spending time with the child. A child who spends more time with a parent is less likely to develop behavioral problems. Provide explanations. Whenever you have to discipline the child, provide an explanation as to why the child is being disciplined. Without an explanation, the child cannot see the error of his or her ways and will not have an understanding of behavioral boundaries and expectations. Writing away confrontation. Every day, have your child write down his or her emotions regarding actions and words that have angered or upset him or her. Have the child pass the notebook back to you, and construct your own passage in response to what the child has written. Sometimes, it is easier to write down emotions and explanations as opposed to talking face to face. Writing allows both the child and parent time to conform ideas that clearly illustrate how they are feeling without becoming flustered, thus not resulting in a physical or verbal argument. Previous:How To Calm An Anxious Child Next:How to Teach Your Child to Listen, Tips for Teaching Children to Listen
