What Behavior Plans Work With Kids That Are Defiant?

Parents and school teachers can become overwhelmed by defiant children. When implementing a new plan to change behavior, it is important to include the child. An important reminder for adults is to not take the defiance personally. Many strategies exist in helping people deal with aggressive children on a daily basis.

  1. Organize Daily Activities

    • Organizing daily activities is an important strategy in dealing with defiant children. A developed routine allows children to know what to expect throughout the day. Most adults have their own set schedule for the tasks that have to be completed every day. Children are less likely to become upset about doing a chore if it is part of their regular routine.

    Active Listening

    • Paraphrasing a defiant child's point of view, idea or opinion is referred to as being an active listener. Hostile children believe nobody listens to what they have to say. When this behavior carries into a classroom setting, confrontational children think that instructors do not understand their point of view. Adults must demonstrate that they have heard what has been said by the child. Active listening does not mean people have to agree with child's point of view.

    Communicate Expectations Clearly

    • Communicating clear expectations to children lets them know what is expected of them in a variety of situations. Before a challenging situation approaches, give children small reminders of what they must do. Older children should be able to tell you exactly what is expected of them. When children can remember the rules, it is more likely that they will follow them.

    Establish Security and Trust

    • Defiant children do not want their vulnerabilities exposed. Establishing security and trust with them is important. An aggressive child can become overwhelmed and use defiance as a way to feel secure and block others out. Parents should provide care despite the negative reactions. Trust will develop over time with children because they fear intrusions.

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