Parenting a Habitual Liar

Don̵7;t Encourage Lying

• If your parenting techniques include strong consequences for mistakes and misbehaviors, a child can easily develop a habit of lying to avoid punishment. Additionally, you might also encourage lying if you don̵7;t reward your child for honesty. Extending grace to your child when she chooses to tell the truth by reducing or eliminating a consequence teaches her that telling the truth has benefits and rewards.

Set an Honest Example

• If you have a tendency to stretch or distort the truth, your child is probably well aware of this shortcoming. When parents set an example of dishonesty for a child to witness, the message the youngster receives is that lying is acceptable and permissible, states pediatrician and author William Sears, who runs the Ask Dr. Sears website. Set an honest example for your child to follow and it̵7;s likely that she will pattern herself after your positive behavior.

Avoid Labels

• Resist the urge to label your child as a ̶0;liar,̶1; and don̵7;t utter harsh judgments such as, ̶0;You never tell the truth.̶1; Children often fulfill labels bestowed upon them by parents, warns the Dr. Phil website. If you associate your child̵7;s persona or personality with dishonesty, he may begin identifying with this label or behavior, which could influence future behavior according to the identification.

Expect Honesty

• Discuss the importance of honesty with your child to explain why she needs to tell the truth. You might mention the trust factor to your child: ̶0;When people lie, it̵7;s hard to know when they̵7;re telling the truth and we can̵7;t really trust them.̶1; Mention the well-known story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" to your little one to illustrate what could happen to someone who doesn't tell the truth, if you wish. Tell your child that you always expect honesty and that it is always safe to be truthful, suggests the Women̵7;s and Children̵7;s Health Network. By promising that you will always consider the fact that your child told the truth about something, you can encourage the honesty you desire.

Following Through

• If your child lies to you, communicate your disappointment and displeasure with the dishonesty. Institute a consequence for the untruth to discourage your child from lying. If your child tells the truth, praise her and tell her how proud you are that she had the courage to be honest. If habitual lying continues, seek counseling for your child to help her learn more positive behaviors and to help you learn positive parenting techniques.