How to Handle Rebellious Children

Taking swift action when dealing with rebellious behavior in children will prevent the problem getting worse, says Dr. Vijai P. Sharma in his "Tips for Dealing with Defiant Children" article for the Mind Publications website. Coping with a rebellious child is not easy and is often a frustrating experience for the adult. Much of a child's rebellion is nothing more than a reaction to authority rather than them being purposefully disrespectful. Learning to spot the difference between rebellion and disrespect is the first step to handling a rebellious child.

Instructions

    • 1

      Try not to take the rebellious behavior to heart. Although it may be difficult not to take her attitude personally, it is more a reaction to her growing up rather than a reflection on your parenting. Her still developing maturity coupled with a thirst for independence will see her react negatively to any childlike treatment, according to an article on the Scholastic website. Challenging your authority is her way of pushing the limits as well as questioning any holes in your argument.

    • 2

      Set clear rules on what you class as acceptable behavior and be clear on the consequences should these rules be broken. He will appreciate the structure clear rules give him while knowing what people expect from him. When issuing rules expect him to challenge some if not all of them, listen to him and accept that he has a point of view, says the Scholastic article.

    • 3

      Encourage her to offer an opinion on important matters and listen to her. Children often feel overlooked and rather than being involved, she is simply subject to rules and regulations. Including her in decision-making will make it harder for her to challenge things later on; after all she had a hand in making the decision.

    • 4

      Make her accountable for her own behavior. When she behaves badly or disrespectfully she needs to learn to be responsible for it. Explain to her that in order to earn respect she must first learn to show it. Do not allow her to disregard the rules --- challenging and questioning them is one thing, but if she blatantly disregards the rules you will need to act.

    • 5

      Understand that not every argument you have with your child has to have a winner and a loser. Learn to compromise with her to resolve conflict rather than get upset. If she has asked to extend her curfew by an hour, agree she can have an extra half an hour if her behavior has been good. Learning to meet in the middle is not a sign of giving in, rather a sign you are learning to trust her. Do not use your authority to force an issue, this can cause her to rebel even more.

    • 6

      Lead by example. How you behave is important if you wish your child's behavior to improve. Much of what a child learns in terms of life and social skills comes from the parents. If you want to encourage respectful behavior in your child, you will need to act respectful yourself, according to James Lehman, Master of Social Work, for an Empowering Parents website article. If you have warned your child about using bad language, using it yourself is a double standard and gives your child confusing signals.

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