What to Do When Your Daughter Has an Attitude
As your daughter approaches the teen years, she may express her need to separate and individuate from you by sulking, sighing and expressing a negative attitude throughout the day, according to the DisneyFamily.com article, "Dealing With Your Child's Bad Attitude." If your daughter continues to behave in an appropriate manner, ignoring her attitude may suffice, while bad or disrespectful behavior needs to be dealt with in a firm and consistent manner.
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Confront
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If your daughter is in the early stages of adolescence, a bad attitude may be the result of her having a difficult day socializing and fitting in with her peers at school, and then discharging that negative energy onto her innocent family members when she arrives home, according to Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph. D., author of "The Negative Attitude." Confront your daughter and let her know she is not allowed to take her unhappiness out on her family. Show her empathy and understanding by letting her know you are there to listen to all of her feelings and help her to find solutions, says Pickhardt. Encourage your daughter to talk about what bothers her to help reduce her negative attitude and possible acting out.
Set Limits
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While you certainly need to set limits regarding bad behavior that accompanies your daughter's recent change in attitude, do so in a respectful manner to ensure that you are modeling appropriate behavior for your daughter. Let your daughter know what the consequences are when her attitude turns into disrespect and defiance, and follow through so she understands the seriousness of what you will and will not tolerate in your home. This will provide your daughter with a sense of safety within your home which, in turn, will benefit your entire family.
Natural Consequences
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If your daughter offends those around her, resulting in her alienating herself, allow her to assume responsibility by resisting the urge to smooth things over for her, advise experts with the University of Alabama Parenting Assistance Line. For example, if your daughter is at a family gathering and behaves like she is too "grown-up" for her younger cousins, resulting in hurt feelings, resist the urge to make amends for her if they are slow to warm up to your daughter the next time they see her. This is a natural consequence and a chance for your daughter to see how her actions and attitude have a direct effect on the quality of her relationships. If she seeks out your advice, let her know what you think about the situation and how you expect her to treat others in the future.
Warning Signs
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Adolescence can be a tough road to navigate as teens are pulling away from their parents, striving for independence and forming their own identities. It is important for parents to understand the difference between a negative attitude and possible teen depression. While some teens will appear sad and depressed, many will respond with irritability, rage or aggression, according to the article, "Teen Depression: A Guide For Parents," published on HelpGuide.org. Prominent, ongoing symptoms of sadness, irritability, frequent crying, withdrawal, restlessness and lack of energy that are affecting your daughter's personality, mood or behavior may be a warning sign of a deeper problem.
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