Redirecting Anger in Children

Infants

• During the first year of life, your child doesn't have much emotional self-management. When your baby pulls a toy away from her day care pal or pushes the cat out of his way, he is showing a perfectly normal type of aggression, according to the experts at the national early childhood organization, Zero to Three. Some infants also engage in acts that seem angry -- such as pulling hair -- but these are more expressions of joy. Before rushing to put a stop to what you think is an angry action, assess the situation. If the aggression is truly anger-fueled, guide him to a new activity or provide him with a new plaything. Unlike an older child who can verbally communicate feelings, your infant obviously lacks the language skills needed to talk out the problem. For example, if your 11-month-old can't control his temper when his sister wants to play with his toy truck, take him outside to crawl in the grass or give him a different toy to enjoy.

Toddlers

• Although your toddler is making strides in her development, she still doesn't have a mature sense of self-control. Toddlers typically don't yet have the communication or regulatory skills needed to express their emotions in a positive manner, and they may act out by hitting or biting as a result. The child development pros at Zero to Three suggest redirecting your toddler's angry behaviors by providing a more acceptable alternative. For example, if your toddler is punching you because you won't give her a cookie, give her a pillow to let her frustrations out on or take her into the backyard where she can throw a ball as hard as her arms allow.

Preschoolers

• Waving a new shiny toy in front of your preschooler isn't likely to get the same game changing reaction as it would with a one-year-old. Although preschoolers, according to PBS Parents, can better manage their feelings in a way that infants or toddlers cannot, they still aren't full masters of their emotions. While your preschooler may have the language skills to say, "I'm mad," he may not always remember to use them. If your preschooler starts getting out of hand, reel him back in by providing a safe and positive alternative. For example, if he gets angry when you ask him to clean up his toys -- but he starts throwing them against the wall instead-- take him outside to throw a ball in the yard before you make him continue his clean up.

Older Children

• By the time your child reaches the grade school years, she will have the ability to label feelings, identify emotions in others and exhibit a more mature sense of self-control. Anger is a normal human emotion, and you shouldn't necessarily expect your child -- at any age -- to completely steer clear of it. That said, when your older child slams doors and screams, give her a more thoughtful and acceptable way of expressing her emotions. For example, after she calms down a bit, have her use paints or crayons to express her angry feelings or have her write about her feelings in a song or poem.