How to Discipline Your Children for Arguing with You

When your child actively engages you in a verbal confrontation, it̵7;s sometimes difficult to remember that you set the tone for behavioral expectations and you establish the rules. Even when parents acknowledge that arguing represents an expected element of childhood development, tempers may flare, patience may wane and parents may feel exasperation and emotional fatigue. Don̵7;t participate in a verbal tug-of-war with your child. Implement disciplinary strategies that defuse arguments and minimize the occurrence of future arguments.

Instructions

    • 1

      Establish and communicate clear-cut behavioral expectations in a language that your child understands. When your child argues, remind her of your expectations, as well as the consequences associated with ignoring them.

    • 2

      Offer choices as a positive substitution. Some arguments end immediately when children receive appealing alternatives to the original source of opposition. For example, say, ̶0;No, you cannot spend the night at your friend̵7;s house, but you may invite her over for popcorn and a movie tonight.̶1;

    • 3

      Keep your cool. Parents who yell, threaten and lose control model inappropriate behaviors that their child eventually emulates. Screaming and name-calling may encourage your child to challenge your authority when you demonstrate little control related to your own responses.

    • 4

      Listen to your child in a manner that communicates respect for her feelings and consistency for your expectations. Model the respect and patience you want your child to reciprocate. Help her to understand that you care about her emotional needs but you require consistency regarding behavioral expectations.

    • 5

      Recognize and praise your child̵7;s appropriate behavior as a preventative strategy. Children need and respond to loving feedback from their parents. Affirmation of your child̵7;s positive behavior serves as a deterrent against negative behaviors in the future.

    • Based in Golden, Colorado, the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. provides parents with practical tools to develop healthy and respectful relationships with their children. Former school principal Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D., are the founders of Lo
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