How to Deal With a Child Who Spits

Regardless of why your child spits, he earns your undivided attention the first time the behavior occurs, and you want it to stop. Different reasons motivate a child̵7;s spitting behavior, and leave parents pondering how to respond. No one prepared you for this, but you can handle spitting behavior, and minimize the probability that the behavior will develop into a long-term challenge. Children use inappropriate behavior to signal problems, so match your response to your child̵7;s problem, suggests Purdue University. Identifying the most likely cause of spitting, and controlling your own response to the behavior, can effectively address spitting.

Instructions

    • 1

      Look for patterns that precede the spitting behavior. For example, determine what your child was doing immediately prior to spitting, whom he was playing with and the setting where the behavior occurred. Identifying these components associated with spitting may isolate a trigger for the behavior. Some of the possible triggers for spitting include fatigue, anger, boredom and hunger. An awareness of what precedes the behavior permits you to design prevention strategies.

    • 2

      Teach and model conflict resolution skills. Your child may spit in response to conflicts with peers, siblings and parents. Conflicts are inevitable for children, who may lack the skills to resolve them without help. Provide opportunities to practice taking turns, using words to communicate frustration, apologizing and sharing, suggests KidsHealth. Demonstrate positive conflict resolution skills in your interactions with others.

    • 3

      Help your child to verbalize her strong emotions, such as anger or jealousy, when intense feelings precede spitting. Encourage your child to talk about what happened. Young children may need help in accurately labeling and verbalizing their feelings. For example, ̶0;You felt angry when I couldn̵7;t help you find your doll. Everyone feels angry sometimes, but it's never OK to spit.̶1; Explore alternatives to spitting when your child feels angry, and ask for her feedback.

    • 4

      Provide age-appropriate choices to help your child build self-control. Your child may spit because of his limited impulse and self-control, and spitting serves as a knee-jerk response. Giving your child choices satisfies his need for independence and instills confidence in his abilities to control behavioral choices. For example, ̶0;I know that you don̵7;t like to brush your teeth. Would you like to brush them before we read a story or after your bath?̶1;

    • 5

      Communicate the unacceptability of spitting by providing an immediate consequence in a calm, firm voice. Explain to your child, ̶0;Spitting is a disrespectful and unkind behavior. In this family, we don̵7;t spit, because spitting is a choice that hurts others, and causes you to feel bad about yourself.̶1; Direct your child to her room or a designated timeout location.

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