A Child's Bouts of Anger

Q I teach four-year-olds, who, for the most part, are very much like the experts say they should be. There is one exception, and he is a very angry young fellow. There are times he is so sweet that you just want to hug him. But at other times he becomes enraged at his classmates, even hitting them for bumping into him.

I have talked to his parents about this and they are as stumped about what to do as I am. Do you have any advice for us? He is a very young four-year-old and an only child.

A You are wise to want to help him now. As an angry child gets bigger, there is more likelihood that he can seriously hurt someone. Immaturity could be part of this. As a "very young four-year-old," he may be frustrated trying to communicate with the other children and this may be the only way he knows to tell them how he feels.

Try to work with the parents to set up a positive discipline system so that they can follow up at home. Divide the day into segments and allow him to earn a sticker or a check mark for making it through center time or outdoor time without hitting someone. Let his parents know each day how he has done. When he has earned three (or whatever number you decide) stickers he can have an extra bedtime story or help you make a cake.

Let him know, too, when he is being good in your class. You say that at times you just want to hug him -- do it. Give him a hug when he is having a great day and tell him why he is getting it. Let him be your helper and pass out cookies when he has not hit anyone.

The way that you describe him becoming "enraged" at the other children sounds like it may take more than these suggestions to make a difference. If your school/preschool has a school counselor, ask that person to help this boy. You may want to encourage the parents to talk with their pediatrician about referring them to someone in your community who provides therapy for young children.


Previous:

Next:

  • Chore List Ideas for Kids
    Requiring children to help out around the house teaches them responsibility and instills good work ethic. It also benefits you--every chore you assign for your child means one less youll have to do. Make assigned chores into a fun activity kids will
  • Health Problems Tied to Nerves
    Q My 11-year-old son hates school and is sick all the time. He has been diagnosed with gastritis and Im sure its because hes so anxious about school. Any advice? A Being anxious and worrying, at any age, can create medical problems. It is even more d
  • Discipline Strategies That Influence Effectiveness
    It can be hard to know which consequences and discipline strategies will work best for your child. Every child is different and discipline techniques that work for one child might not work for another.  Although it can take a bit of trial and e