Energize Your Child

Q My son is repeating first grade because developmentally he was not ready to go on. We are finding he still exhibits some of the same behavior. He reads very well and academically is okay, but he sits outside the circle and doesn't participate. The teacher describes it as lack of motivation and apathy. She says he is just not interested.

Otherwise, we have always thought our son was normal. He plays sports willingly and has friends. I just don't know what to do with him.

A Seven is really young to be described as having a lack of motivation and apathy. You are wise to try to address this now.

Was the retention explained to your son in a positive way? Children are very perceptive, and even if our words say that we feel good about something they may realize that deep down we may have some negative feelings. Your son may believe that you think there is something wrong with him being in first grade again.

Try talking with him to reassure him that another year in first grade will help him to be a leader in the class and to succeed in some of the things that were hard for him last year.

Talk with the teacher. Together you may be able to make school more interesting by letting him be a leader in activities. He can earn stickers or check marks for participating with the class and you can follow up at home by bringing him to the park or letting him have a friend over to play for good days.

Ask the school counselor to help your son feel positive about school and his retention. Often just a little extra attention from adults can make a tremendous difference in a child's attitude.


  • A mom in her 30s sat in my office crying. “My six-year-old is so out of control. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I must be the worst mom ever!” She took a deep breath, bent over in her chair, threw her hands over her face, and sobbed, “My k
  • Disciplining a child for making a poor choice doesnt mean you have to make him feel bad about himself. In fact, discipline that shames children can be quite destructive. Healthy discipline can help your child feel bad about what he did, but it
  • There is remarkably little research available on the topic of children writing sentences for punishment. However, there are definitely two schools of thought on the matter. One group believes that the act of writing something like, "I will not c