How to Deal With a Difficult Child

When parents prepare to welcome a new life into the world, they envision tender hugs, shared giggles, and times of joy and happiness. Unfortunately, reality often isn̵7;t so rosy. Instead of this non-stop happiness, parents are commonly forced to deal with temper tantrums, slammed doors and screaming. While no child is perfect all the time, some are more prone to exhibiting undesirable behaviors than others. If your child is difficult, you don̵7;t have to simply resign yourself to a life of conflict. Instead, work to change your child̵7;s behavior to allow yourself more of the positive interactions you likely dreamed of.

  1. Problem Behavior Identification

    • When a child continually exhibits bad behavior it can be tempting to simply label the child as difficult and leave it at that. Doing so is a major mistake, however. To effectively change your child̵7;s behavior, you must carefully consider what exactly the child is doing that is presenting a problem. Sit down with your partner or another adult who spends a lot of time with the child and list specific behaviors that the child is exhibiting that are presenting a problem. After you create your list, you can use it as a tool in your efforts to improve your child̵7;s behavior. You will know exactly what you are trying to get your child to stop doing.

    Building Understanding

    • While it might be hard to imagine that your child̵7;s bouts of kicking and screaming are designed for anything more than just annoying you to death, remember that all behavior is a form of communication. If your child is acting out, he is trying to tell you something. The only way you can effectively extinguish this behavior is to figure out what your child is trying to tell you and deal with the issue at the root of the problem. Play investigator and pay attention to what seems to be triggering the abhorrent behavior. Also be cognizant of what seems to cause the behavior to cease. Use the insight you gain from paying attention to these things to help you better avoid and handle the behavior.

    Rewarding Positive Behavior

    • Though it might seem natural to send a misbehaving child to his room or demand that your sassy girl sit in timeout, these punishments might not be as effective in the long run as rewards. Set up a reward system that allows your child to earn prizes for following the house rules. Tailor these rewards to your child̵7;s struggles. For example, reward a bedtime tantrum thrower with a gold star for each evening he retires to bed without a fight and let him turn those gold stars in at week̵7;s end for a trip to the movies or a new toy.

    Behavior Modeling

    • You might have more success in getting your child to modify his behavior if you show your child what you want him to do instead of simply telling him. Often, parents adopt a ̶0;do as I say, not as I do̶1; attitude to the detriment of their children̵7;s behavior. If, for example, your teen is continually getting in trouble for using profanity in class, you should start to pay close attention to the type of language you are using. By changing your behavior and becoming a role model, exhibiting the exact behavior you hope your child will adopt, you can allow your child to better understand what you expect of him as well as make it easier for you to correct your child without running the risk of being labeled a hypocrite.

    Consistent Reinforcement

    • Consistency is the key to making a long-term change in a child̵7;s behavior. If you only tackle your child̵7;s bad behavior when you have the energy, you won̵7;t be effective in making a permanent change. Instead, never let an instance of bad behavior slip by without dealing with it. Similarly, be consistent when giving praise to ensure that your child sees that behaving properly at all times is of the utmost importance.

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