Emotional Behavior in Children

Behavior tends to stem from one of two sources: emotion and logic. For children, the former often takes precedence, leading to problematic behaviors. A parent who understands the reasons for this and know how to address it is in a better position to raise an emotionally intelligent child.

  1. The Emotional Command Center

    • For all animals, the emotional command center is the brain. The animal brain responds to the environment by producing emotions that can help an animal deal with the current situation. But humans have more developed brains, brains that allow logic to suppress impulses based on emotions. A child, however, does not have a fully developed frontal cortex, the part of the brain that allows for decision-making and emotional control. This means he cannot completely regulate his emotions, making him particularly prone to emotional behavior.

    Language̵7;s Role

    • One large difference between adults and children is the ability to express thoughts and feelings, especially as pertain to immediate emotions. According to John Gottman, psychologist and author of ̶0;Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,̶1; emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and regulate one̵7;s emotions, largely relies on the ability to express your feelings. Children, with less verbal ability and less worldly experience, cannot properly explain why they feel a certain way. The result can often be emotional and troubling behavior; that is, impulsive action as a response to a specific feeling.

    Intelligence̵7;s Role

    • As a child develops, she learns the power of intelligence over her emotions. The reason a younger student would be more likely to cry over a failed test than would a middle school student lies in that intelligence: During middle childhood children learn that emotional behavior is controllable. But this is not all good. Sometimes children intentionally act on their emotions as a display to others. For example, a child usually capable of controlling her anger might throw a tantrum as a method to get her way. Parents should be aware of these ̶0;techniques̶1; older children apply.

    Dealing with Emotional Behavior

    • Parents do and should voice their disapproval at improper emotional behavior in their children, such as a child throwing a toy out of anger. However, this disapproval should not be directed at the emotion itself but the action following it. Otherwise, children might feel confused and guilty, questioning whether it is wrong to feel. But emotions are natural; parents should teach children that it is the related behavior, not the emotion, that is problematic.

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