How to Get Control of Your Out of Control Child
Dealing with a child that displays uncontrolled behavior causes understandable stress. Whether the behaviors include tantrums, hostility, non-compliance to family rules or other disruptive actions, learning how to gain control provides relief for the entire family. Addressing the issue includes helping your child gain self-control; as well as helping you to guide the child into behaviors that are more compliant.
Instructions
Make changes to your home routine to help your child learn consistency and control. Maintain house rules, develop a schedule for your child and ensure she gets adequate sleep and nutrition. Give your child time to prepare to do what you want, such as telling him that he has five minutes to get ready for bed or finish a game. Use time-outs for serious incidents. Determine a quiet place in your home for time-outs. Use the discipline to provide an opportunity for your child to gain control and consider the behavior, not for punishment, advises Children̵7;s Hospital of Pittsburgh of University of Pennsylvania. Find a quiet place, such as your car or an outside bench, for uncontrolled behaviors occurring in public places. Stay calm, distract the child, ignore minor tantrums or take the child home, if the tantrum occurs in a public place for a child between 18-months to 4-years-old, advises the American Academy of Pediatrics. For more severe tantrums, such as those involving hitting or destructive behaviors, place the child in time-out. Limit the time-out period to approximately one minute per year of the child's age. Start a log of uncontrolled behaviors, settings, responses to discipline and incidents when your child behaves in an uncontrolled manner. Look for common factors present in each incident to determine if a pattern exists, such as during excitement, or after changes in the home routine. Contact your doctor regarding frequent tantrums, tantrums lasting longer than 10 minutes, excessive violence or anger, or still having tantrums at school age, advises University of Michigan Health System. Get a medical examination for your child and take your log with you. Ask your doctor to evaluate health issues and emotional disorders that may contribute to a child acting-out, including hormone imbalances, thyroid disorders and depression. Focus initially on one or two behaviors you want changed, to avoid overwhelming your child, advises UMHS. Choose a quiet time, sit down with your child and discuss the behavior changes you expect your child to make. Involve your child in making decisions about consequences, rewards and goals as much as possible. Ask your child, if she has enough verbal skills, for her opinion about the changes and how she thinks you can help her gain control. Help your child to learn self-control and avoid resistance by giving him choices whenever possible. Allowing your child to leave a time-out, once he calms down provides practice in self-control, suggests KidsHealth. Determine the consequences for unwanted behaviors, such as loss of privileges including television, games, phones or outings and apply the consequences consistently.
Create a list of behaviors and rewards, in order to help motivate your child to replace out of control actions with desirable behaviors, suggests FamilyDoctor.org.
