How to Teach Kids to Be Calm

Children often get overwhelmed by emotions and trying to restore calm can all too easily have parents lose their own cool. But whether you want to avoid toddler tantrums or a 9-year-old's overexcitement, there are some gentle but powerful ways to bring your child to a state of greater peacefulness and teach him how to calm himself before things get out of hand. Use these methods and you will also bring more calm to your own life.

Instructions

    • 1

      Keep calm yourself. However stressful it is to deal with a screaming toddler or a destructive 10-year-old, you will only make things worse if you shout or storm off. Take deep breaths, remember you are the adult and use a calm voice, as you speak to your child. An angry or distressed adult is not a good role model for teaching a child calmness.

    • 2

      Stay close to your child during tantrums. You do not need to pick him up if you believe that will encourage his outbursts. But teaching him you will not abandon him will help him learn security and trust, which are important in ensuring that he remains calm.

    • 3

      Speak to your child about what has caused an outburst after he has calmed down. It is much easier to address the causes of lack of calm, when the child is in a state of calm. As soon as he is old enough to talk, encourage your child to express his feelings and explain what was wrong. Listen supportively, even if his reasoning or problems do not make sense to you and discuss with him how he could have addressed those feelings in a calm way. By teaching your child that he can ------------------.

    • 4

      Teach your child to recognize the signs that he is about to lost his calm. Prevention is better than cure. If you notice that he is getting agitated, stop and say you have noticed he is tensing his body, starting to throw things ̵2; or whatever behavior he is displaying. Tell him you have noticed that he does those things when he is angry (or whatever emotion he is displaying) and ask him how he is feeling and what he needs to do to help him stay calm. The earlier a child can recognize his emotions, the better control he will have over them.

    • 5

      Teach your child a routine to go through when he or you recognize that he is starting to lose his calm. Find a quiet place that he can go to calm down, if he feels the need to be alone. This should not be the same as a "naughty step" or punishment corner, but a neutral place where he can find calm. Teach him something to say, such as "tummy breaths keep me calm and make me happy," and show him how to take three deep breaths from his tummy. Or teach him a simple gentle song about happiness or calmness. The important thing is that he has a method he can use each time he is going to lose his calm.

    • 6

      Set aside a time each day for you and your child to be calm together. Learn some basics of child or baby yoga. Get a book on baby massage and use child-safe essential oils, such as lavender. Play relaxing music. Use simple words to discuss with your child the relaxed, happy and loving feelings he feels during this time. By teaching your child about how good it feels when he is calm and by giving him a daily example of what it feels like to be calm, you will encourage the child to seek out calm feelings in the future.

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