How to Help Emotionally Sensitive Children
One of the biggest mistakes parents of emotionally sensitive children make is to assume that their child would behave in a more acceptable manner if they were better parents. As a result, these parents become overly indulgent and overprotective. Highly sensitive children with parents that view themselves as not good enough often receive everything they want as an effort to calm them down and keep their behavior acceptable in public or even private places. While this may work for emotionally sensitive children, it doesn't help the situation or allow the child time to become independent or self-sufficient, which makes emotionally sensitive children even more emotional.
Instructions
Work together with your spouse to create an environment with four elements: structure and limits, empathy, self-observation and encouragement. These four elements help when dealing with an emotionally sensitive child. Show empathy to emotionally sensitive children because the child needs to see you are on her side. Her emotions are overrunning her sensibilities and ability to comprehend the simplicity of any given situation. Showing her you empathize with her plight allows her to react more calmly and rationally because she feels less overwhelmed. For example, when your child refuses to go to sleep at night you can say to her, "I know you may not feel tired, but we all have to go to bed at a certain time so we wake up happy and ready to conquer the next day." Add structure and limits to your empathy to deal with a whiny, aggressive child. Empathizing with the child's plight helps the child understand that you feel her pain. Adding structure and limits shows that while you understand her frustration and anger her behavior is not acceptable and requires that she handles it in a more appropriate manner. When your child won't go to bed and is becoming aggressive about it you should say, "No. You are going to sleep, now." As the child progressively becomes more aggressive you should make your voice firmer and your facial expression more serious. Encourage your child to become more assertive and in control. When a child feels helpless and experiences feelings of despair she often feels like she is not good enough, that no one likes her and that she is not worthy. Begin by empathizing with her, "I have days when I feel the same way, sweetie." Once you've shown that you are on her side encourage her to figure out how she could better handle a similar situation in the future so she feels more assertive and masterful of the situation. Encourage self-observation in emotionally sensitive children. Oftentimes children feel overwhelmed by their emotions and have a difficult time putting a name to the emotion. For example, when your child says she is angry because her brother wouldn't let her play with his friends you should encourage her to place a mental image to her anger so she can easily identify it the next time she feels it. Putting detail to your feelings helps your child more accurately describe her feelings.
