Activities for Teaching Kids Assertiveness

Parents often want their children to stick up for themselves during confrontations with their peers and siblings. Many moms and dads resist the temptation to mediate their kids̵7; conflicts. Instead, they nudge their youngsters to settle their own disputes. Activities for teaching kids assertiveness demonstrate to a child the importance of speaking up and safeguarding individual self-respect. These techniques can remedy shyness and empower youngsters to set boundaries with others.

  1. Practice

    • Role-play as you coach your child to offer non-threatening but firm responses to other kids̵7; commands. For example, pretend you are a classmate demanding that he turn over his favorite pencil. Imagine you are his buddy who insists that he toss a football back and forth despite his objections. Let your youngster discover ways to decline the requests without being mean. He might talk about the unfairness of being asked to give away a beloved object, or suggest taking a walk instead of playing football.

    Real Experiences

    • Review actual experiences to determine other methods your youngster could have used to resolve disagreements. Discuss alternatives that are fair but unyielding. Ask him to think of funny or clever retorts he could have used to stop a bossy friend in her tracks. Suggest noncommittal responses that defuse a playmate̵7;s foul mood without giving in to her demands. During future confrontations, he might say, ̶0;You could be right̶1; or ̶0;That̵7;s possible.̶1; Sometimes, bland responses can thwart a domineering person without setting off an argument.

    Detective

    • Encourage your child to observe other people̵7;s behaviors. Instruct him to study body language, eye contact and posture. Ask him to identify whether other people̵7;s behaviors are passive, assertive or aggressive. The website of Kidscape, a British anti-bullying organization, recommends a game of detective so kids see the dividing lines between assertiveness, passiveness and aggressiveness. Aggressors want their needs to be met, while passive children place emphasis on everyone else̵7;s wishes. Assertive people focus equally on their personal desires as well as the feelings of people around them.

    Bullying

    • Impart some lessons on bullying when you implement activities for teaching kids assertiveness. Teach your child how to respond to a classmate̵7;s volatile behaviors that might erupt into violence. Instruct him to walk away and seek help from a parent, teacher or other responsible adult. At the same time, ensure that he doesn̵7;t morph into a bully himself by taking advantage of soft-spoken playmates. Demonstrate to him that people are more responsive to polite requests than domineering demands.

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