Fun Ways to Train Kids How to Behave in Church

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to teaching kids how to behave in church. However, clear rules applied consistently over time will teach children self-control. With plenty of parental patience, you'll guide kids toward an appreciation and respect for worship services. Consider age, whether children's church or a nursery is available, expectations within your congregation and your own convictions about helping children develop spiritually. Most of all, look for ways to show children the joy and peace found within worship.

  1. Ease Into Expectations

    • Use your behavior as a model to teach kids how to worship.

      A toddler can't compete with a teen's attention span. Match your expectations to your child's age. Model appropriate behavior at church. Talk about and practice those skills at home. Slowly increase your child's knowledge of the various parts of the service, and the amount of time he is expected to intently tune in during the service. Especially for younger children, you may want to begin by having them attend the beginning of the service and then take them to children's church or the nursery, if available.

    Provide Options

    • If you allow your child to bring toys, think carefully about whether they'll distract others from the service.

      Some parents feel that children need to develop self-control in church without extras like food, coloring books or games. Think about what works best for you within your specific worship setting. Many parents bring along quiet items in a tote bag. Tie those items into worship. For example, select Bible-themed coloring and activity books. Encourage your child to review the children's Sunday school activity sheet, or to read a story in a children's Bible. Ask your child to sketch a picture of something learned during the service. For the youngest of children, bring a plush toy or board book.

    Reinforce Positive Choices

    • Create a visual to provide preschoolers and early elementary children with feedback during the service. For example, Barbara Curtis, a mother of 12, found success using an index card with a smiley face on one side and a frowny face on the other side. She used the card to quietly and calmly indicate to her son how he was doing. Over time, the child internalized positive behavior choices, so she didn't need the card as frequently. Praise your child for specific behavior choices as soon as possible after the service. Discuss any challenges, and create an action plan for future services.

    Increase Your Child's Engagement

    • Encourage older children to follow along or find scripture shared during the sermon.

      Your ultimate goal is for children to behave in church not under duress, but rather because they come to appreciate and enjoy worship services. With your patience and consistency, children can develop that joy over time. Their definition and understanding of what worship is needs time to develop in the same way that their academic, physical and emotional skills increase with age. As children become older, increase their interaction within the service. For example, have them find the songs in the hymn book or the passage in scripture. Ask them to jot down notes, make a sermon-related comment to the minister as the family leaves after service, or share with the family what they learned.

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