The Dos and Don'ts for Parents of an Older Child With Separation Anxiety
By the time your little one turns 1 she might start to experience a little separation anxiety, according to child development experts at the Kids Health website. It is perfectly normal for her to suddenly whimper or cry when you leave the room or kiss her goodbye at Grandma̵7;s house or day care. Most kids start to experience the same thing around the same age to a certain degree, and while it̵7;s common in the early years, most kids grow out of their separation anxiety as they get older. However, there is always an exception.
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Do Understand
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According to HelpGuide.org, a site designed to help families develop, it might help you cope when you begin to understand that there is no exact science when it comes to the time frame children overcome their separation anxiety. Just because your firstborn overcame her separation anxiety before she turned 2 doesn̵7;t mean that there is anything wrong with your youngest, who is a lot older than that now and still suffering. Unless her separation anxiety is so bad at this age that it is interfering with her grades or her extracurricular activities, there probably isn̵7;t any reason to worry.
Don̵7;t Give In
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When you are dealing with an older child with separation anxiety, you do not want to give in when he begs you not to leave. According to the Kids Health site, you should maintain the same ritual each time you leave your child with the sitter or at school. You do want to say goodbye to your child and keep the process calm. It might help to remind him that you will be back at a certain time, such as when the last bell rings, to pick him up. Whatever you do, do not hang around coddling him and trying to calm him down. That can make the situation worse.
Do Prepare
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According to HelpGuide.org, you should prepare yourself and your child for what̵7;s to come in terms of separation anxiety. For example, if you are leaving to go on an overnight trip in a few weeks, talk about it every day with your child. You don̵7;t want to just up and leave him with no warning but a ̶0;Goodbye, see you tomorrow.̶1; You can help him prepare by telling him to call anytime, teaching him to send text messages and calling Grandma together to see if she would be willing to let him use her phone to text you. Try talking to him about exactly when you will be home and where you will be and what he will be doing while you̵7;re away. This kind of preparation can make things a little bit easier on everyone.
Don̵7;t Assume Your Child Will Grow Out of It
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Most kids grow out of their separation anxiety by 3, according to the Boston Children̵7;s Hospital website. However, if your child is between the ages of 8 and 10 and still experiencing severe separation anxiety, you need to consider the fact that she might have separation anxiety disorder. Though this type of disorder can occur at any time, this is the typical age it begins to manifest itself with signs such as your child̵7;s refusal to sleep alone, overwhelming worry that a loved one will be lost or injured, overwhelming worry that she will get lost, clinginess and even panic attacks. If you think your child might need help, contact her pediatrician.
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