What to Do When Your 4-Year-Old Does Not Want to Go to Pre-K

If your 4-year-old is clinging to your leg as you try to drop her off at pre-K, you should know that some separation anxiety is normal childhood behavior, especially when it's her first experience being away from the home. By creating a simple, predictable routine and helping your preschooler get comfortable with the idea of pre-K, she'll be more enthusiastic and less likely to have a meltdown come Monday.

  1. Preparation Work

    • The preparation for pre-K should start long before the first day of school. First, choosing a facility that works best for your child is important. AskDrSears.com notes that an introverted child might do better at a small, private pre-K over a loud, large class. Bring your child with you to see the classroom before the first day of school so she can meet her teacher and get used to the surroundings before she's left there on her own.

    Teacher Help

    • If you know your child has issues with separation or has been vocal about her dislike for pre-K, talk to her teacher privately. Let the teacher know your concerns and what you think might help your child ease the transition into school, suggests FamilyEducation.com. Your child's teacher might have ideas to help make it smoother for all of you and should know that your little one might need some extra attention and care to become more comfortable at school.

    Saying Goodbye

    • The period between dropping off your child at pre-K and leaving her there is usually the hardest, especially for preschoolers with separation issues. The trick is to make the transition simple and honest. When you drop your child off at class, say goodbye and leave -- don't sneak out, warns KidsHealth. You could also make the goodbye more enjoyable by creating a ritual for you and your 4-year-old -- a silly face or a special handshake, for instance.

    Emotional Consideration

    • While it's likely your 4-year-old's refusal to go to pre-K is separation-based, a negative experience at school can sway her from wanting to go again. Ask your preschooler why she doesn't want to school and look for red flags, such as bullying or issues with her teacher. You might need to speak to the administration if your child is having an unpleasant experience at school. If your child doesn't have a valid reason for not wanting to go, you can listen and be sympathetic, but still ask her to try again.

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