How to Cut Down on Sibling Squabbles

"Stop fighting! Leave your sister alone! I've had enough of this arguing!" Parents often bark orders to end arguing as a cure-all for sibling squabbles, but you may find these statements ineffective -- especially in the long term. Some bickering is inevitable when you put more than one child in a room. Minor disagreements help your kids learn to resolve conflict and compromise, but when those behaviors turn into bullying or aggression, adult intervention is necessary. You can help curb the bickering by creating a respectful environment that discourages sibling rivalry.

Instructions

    • 1

      Watch your own interactions, especially with your spouse or other adults who spend time around the family. If you handle a difference of opinion with an argument, your kids learn to handle their disputes in the same way. Focus on keeping yourself calm and discussing differences politely instead of talking in a snippy voice.

    • 2

      Teach your child basic rules based on respect, such as using kind words, using words when you're upset and listening to one another. Practice those situations through pretend play. Let your kids know you won't allow name-calling, physical fighting or bullying behavior. Setting and enforcing these sibling boundaries helps reduce the negative interactions.

    • 3

      Remind your children of the boundaries if they test the limits. Offer the reminders in a calm but firm voice. Say, "I hear mean words coming from this room. Calling names is not OK in this house. Let's try using our words to figure out this problem."

    • 4

      Serve as a mediator when your kids argue. Talking them through the disagreement gives them the skills to handle the mediation on their own eventually.

    • 5

      Praise your kids when you hear them interacting positively. Point out ways they use problem-solving to figure out a conflict instead of resorting to name-calling or fighting. This helps your kids learn how you want them to behave and makes them feel proud of making positive choices.

    • 6

      Create a sense of teamwork instead of rivalry. A friendly board game or race in the backyard isn't generally harmful, but putting too much emphasis on winning or pitting your kids against one another encourages squabbling. Encourage family members to work together and cheer each other on.

    • 7

      Study and celebrate the differences in your children. Sibling arguments often decrease when kids know their differences are appreciated and they are accepted as they are, according to Dr. Laura Markham of Aha! Parenting. Comparing your kids creates an environment of rivalry that may lead to squabbling.

    • 8

      Allow your kids to have time alone when needed. Having her own space and time to do her own activities gives your child a sense of independence. Too much time spent together and being forced to share everything can also cause friction between your kids.

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