Preschoolers Seen Kissing

Q I teach at a preschool and I noticed that one little boy will chase a particular girl around when we have an outside activity. I have seen him kiss her occasionally, also. The girl doesn't seem to mind. In fact, I think she may encourage it. It's probably nothing to be concerned about, but I don't know if I should intervene. A Check to see if there is a sexual harassment policy in place at your preschool. Many schools have such policies in place. You may recall a story reported two years ago of a first-grader's placement in a "high-management" classroom for one day because he had kissed a girl in his class on the cheek. Sexual harassment policies are needed in schools to protect kids, but they are often invoked for inappropriate reasons.

The occasional kissing behavior you describe between these two preschoolers falls within the realm of age-appropriate behavior. Most child development experts maintain that the majority of preschoolers will play some sex games during this developmental stage. These games, like the kissing that you described, are attempts to imitate and explore adult behavior and roles.

Unless you witness either of these children showing displeasure with these occasional kisses, don't intervene. If you are debating whether the little girl may feel harassed by this (supposing that it is always she who is being chased and kissed) behavior, you might speak with her alone at some point in the day (not after a kissing incident at outdoor play), asking her how she feels about this boy chasing her and kissing her. Without blaming her, ask a few open-ended questions. Observe how she and this little boy behave with each other throughout the day, not just during outdoor play. That will give you a more complete picture of their relationship and how the chasing and kissing fits into that overall relationship. Thanks for writing and for being sensitive to this issue.


Previous:

Next:

  • Impulsive Behavior in a Child
    Toddlers often demonstrate the impulsive behaviors of biting and hitting their friends. You may, however, wonder when these behaviors normally subside and what you can do to help your child control his impulses. Definition Impulsive
  • How to Teach Your Son to Deal With His Feelings
    Children are not born with effective coping skills -- these must be acquired. If you want your son to learn to deal with his emotions and express his feelings, you’ll have to be an active participant in these lessons. Taking the time to teach h
  • Not Sleeping & Loss of Appetite in Children
    Parents are wired to worry any time their children do something that seems out of the ordinary. So if your child stops eating and sleeping well, it’s easy to immediately imagine all the terrible things that could be wrong. Its often something s