How to Teach Your Son to Deal With His Feelings

Children are not born with effective coping skills -- these must be acquired. If you want your son to learn to deal with his emotions and express his feelings, you̵7;ll have to be an active participant in these lessons. Taking the time to teach him these skills now can help build a strong emotional foundation.

Things You'll Need

  • Toys and games

Instructions

    • 1

      Be a feelings role model. Demonstrate how to express your emotions in a healthy way and utilize effective problem-solving skills. For instance, when you get frustrated, show your son how you calm down and work through the issue. Your actions will teach him more than just your words.

    • 2

      Teach your son constructive ways to deal with his emotions. Let him run off steam outdoors. Show him how to do deep breathing exercises or visualizations. Give him some paper and markers for an artistic outlet. Allow him to scream into his pillow if it makes him feel better.

    • 3

      Take time each day to spend undivided attention with your child. Boys tend to be ̶0;action talkers,̶1; points out Harvard psychologist Dr. William Pollack, author of ̶0;Real Boys' Voices.̶1; Get your son engaged in an activity if you want to talk to him. Try playing with action figures, building with blocks or tossing a baseball and see where the conversation goes from there.

    • 4

      Talk openly and honestly with your son. Share your own experiences and feelings. Provide a safe environment for him to open up and talk about how he feels. Never tease or shame your son̵7;s feelings. Remember that all feelings are allowed -- only his actions should be regulated and controlled.

    • 5

      Let your son know that ̶0;real̶1; boys and men cry, recommends Dr. Pollack. Don̵7;t use negative phrases like ̶0;big boys don̵7;t cry.̶1; This is counterproductive to getting him to express his feelings -- instead, it teaches him to mask, hide or bury them.

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