How to Tell a Child About the Death of a Loved One
When a loved one dies, you may feel wary to talk about the tragic event with a child. This is a common occurrence, and as death affects all people, you are certainly not the first person who has ever had to talk to a child about death. Though the prospect may seem grim, telling a child about the loss of a loved one is a necessary step to take and should not be avoided. By remaining honest and open with the child, the tragic situation can help the child grow and understand his own humanity in this complex life.
Instructions
Think about the relationship between the child and the loved one. Remember any special moments the two of them shared, and how much the loved one meant to the child. These moments and thoughts will help you when you talk to the child. Become calm and collected. You do not want to stifle your emotions, but try to hold back any outbursts that might make the child worrisome. You want to be a solid source of support for the child when she finds out what has happened to the person she loves. This means holding back just enough to make sure that the child will feel safe and protected at such an uncertain time in her life. Sit the child down and hold his hands. Tell him that the loved one has passed away, and answer any resulting questions in a cautious manner. You do not want to tell the child that the person died in a painful way, or any grisly details about the way the person died. Children younger than 5 or 6 do not understand death in a literal sense, so your explanations of death to a 3-year-old will need to adapt to this reality. Using concrete answers that make answers more simply understood will help kids understand what death means on their own level. You can, for instance, tell the child that the loved one died because his body stopped working, and no one could fix it. This will tell them in a simple way that the loved one is gone, without having to explain to them notions that they just are not ready to understand at such a young age. Talk with the child about her feelings after learning that the person she loves has died. Let her know how you feel, as well. This will allow her to feel more ready to share with you later on any worries she has about death, or how she feels regarding the loss of the loved one. Children understand death, as they see it in the cartoons they watch, the stories they read, and even in the games they play. If the child asks a question about death, do not avoid it. Simply tell her what you believe about the subject, but make it simple. Do not overload her with too many vague ideas; just keep the answers short and easy to understand for her young mind. Also, if you do not know the answer to a question, do not be afraid to just tell her that you do not know. Children can tell when adults make up white lies just to assuage children̵7;s fears. Previous:How to Tie Shoes for Kids
