How to Set Parenting Goals

Setting goals helps each and every person achieve lifelong dreams. Whether it’s planning for your first home, saving for retirement, taking steps to advance in your careers, or negotiating better vacation deals, it all starts with one big idea. That big idea is then broken down into smaller, more obtainable ideas. And those ideas are worked on until, one step at a time, you reach your destination. Parenting should be no different. The goal of every parent is to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted children. That goal, however, cannot be completed if you don’t work on the baby steps first.

Instructions

    • 1

      Answer the five Ws. The first step towards setting parenting goals is to answer who, what, when, where and why. It’s important to understand who the parents are (likes, dislikes, personal dreams), why you wanted to be parents in the first place, when you realized parenting was more than just giving birth, and where you plan to take your children on this journey called life.

    • 2

      Be realistic. Every parent would prefer that families live fairy tales, but the reality is that fairy tales seldom come true. Putting too much pressure on your children to perform or act a certain way can actually destroy your family. Requiring your children to reach for your dreams without taking into consideration your children’s dreams, desires or skills can not only crush your children’s spirits, but it can also cause them to resent you--even lash out at you.

    • 3

      Be specific. After you have determined which goals were unrealistic and which were actually obtainable, take the time to get specific about those goals. Plan out a course of action that is reasonable to accomplish. If, for instance, you want your family to be spiritual, make plans to take your children to church on Sundays, to participate in church activities, to read the Bible before bedtime, and to pray as a family. If you want your family to be able to communicate with one another, set a regular dinner time. Ask each member to take turns sharing the highlights of the day.

    • 4

      Be adjustable. Parenting requires the ability to adapt to situations, to change course mid-stream, to be able to switch gears, even if that means letting go of one goal to make room for another goal. It’s important for parents to realize that sometimes they must adjust their goals, their dreams and their plans to meet the individual needs of their children. For instance, if a parent’s goal is to raise a child who becomes a surgeon but that child gets sick at the sight of blood, isn’t good in science, or does not have a steady hand, that parent is going to have to adjust her goals.

    • 5

      Be forgiving. When people fail you, it’s easy to become upset. That disappointment, however, can turn into anger and that anger can brew, unbeknownst to you, until it destroys your relationship. Your children need forgiveness to grow, to continue to bond with you, to continue to trust your decisions. If you don’t make a conscious effort to forgive, you could stop your parenting goals from moving forward.

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