Is Ten Years Between Siblings Bad?
It̵7;s natural to worry about how your life decisions will affect your children. Bringing another child into the family is a major change, particularly if your older child has been an only child for a number of years. How old your little one is when a new baby arrives does make a difference in the family dynamics, but timing doesn̵7;t need to be a major issue. With your love and support, having another baby after 10 years can be a blessing to the entire family.
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Effects on Birth Order and Personality
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Many believe that the order and timing of a child̵7;s birth affects her personality. In these instances, a 10-year gap between children disrupts the traditional birth order. A gap of more than six years means that for the purposes of determining birth order traits, your children are considered in two different generations, according to Diana L. Walcutt, Ph.D, in an article for Psych Central. The youngest may exhibit traits of both the baby of the family (dependence) or an only child (independent, creative, problem solver). Likewise, if your first child has no other siblings, except for the one born 10 years later, he too experiences mixed birth order traits. He may exhibit traits of the first-born (leadership) and traits of an only child. In essence, when a 10-year gap exists between your children, you are raising two separate families that share a home -- at least as far as birth order and personality are concerned.
Effects on Older Sibling(s)
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Older children typically demonstrate less jealousy of a new baby, as they have developed the necessary skills to handle the emotional impact of adding a baby to the home and have their own interests. They do not see the baby as competition, lessening the battles than can ensue between siblings close in age. They often enjoy the new baby, but may avoid the dirty diapers and complain about crying. They tend to become protective of the little one and may even attempt to parent the younger sibling.
Effects on Youngest Child
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A baby born 10 years after other children typically gains a larger support system, as it has an older sibling(s) to look out for him. Depending on the child and the personalities in the family, the youngest may become dependent on the older sibling(s) to do things for him, as he cashes in on always being the baby. Most, however, learn to be self-sufficient as they typically spend a great deal of time playing alone while the older sibling(s) is off to school or other social activities.
Effects on the Family
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For parents, the large age gap means they have more time to spend with each child when they are young. But, it also means adapting to a life of little sleep and increased demands when the new baby arrives. Because childcare practices change over time, parents may find themselves confused over new recommendations for baby care. When the youngest enters school, parents may discover significant changes in academic expectations and be surprised by new teaching techniques. In addition, parents may find it challenging to meet the social needs of their older child while caring for a baby or toddler. Attending school functions, sports events and chauffeuring older children may interfere with nap and bedtime. Balancing the needs of both children may be challenging at times.
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