Developing Trust Between Parent & Baby

The relationship between parent and child grows and develops over decades, but building trust with your baby begins right at birth. Developing a secure bond with your baby starts with non-verbal communication. Parents sometimes worry that this means they won't know what their baby wants or needs, especially in the first few months. As you settle into parenthood, getting to know your baby will offer many joyful exchanges that build trust.

  1. Building an Attachment with Your Newborn

    • Immediately after birth, your baby is adjusting to life outside the womb and she is confronted with a range of sounds, lights and smells. Providing calm surroundings as you respond to her needs and cries gives stability during this enormous transition. Consistently holding, feeding, bathing and tending to her needs builds a loving, trusting connection. As you respond to nonverbal cues, such as cries and other noises, body posture and facial expressions, you and your baby will learn about each other, setting the stage for a lifetime connection.

    Connecting with Your Baby

    • When your baby is about one month old, you'll notice a shift in his responsiveness to you. He'll seem more alert and begin responding to your voice. By three months, you'll be getting smiles and hear a joyful babbling or other sounds as your baby becomes increasingly more communicative. At this stage, you have the chance to incorporate playful exploration as you tend to his needs. Changing a diaper is a chance to make eye contact, talk or sing to your baby and establish a routine. These loving exchanges build a trusting bond between you and your baby.

    Responding to Nonverbal Cues

    • As your baby gets older and more active, you'll see her move toward you, imitate your facial expressions and communicate her needs more clearly. The ways you continue to respond to her nonverbally greatly influence the emotional connection and trust your baby has with you. Dr. Jeanne Segal and her colleagues created a list of the following ways parents maintain a close, secure bond with their babies: eye contact, facial expression, tone of voice, movements, touch and pacing, timing and intensity.

    Moving Past the First Year

    • As you head into the second year of your baby's life, language skills are added to the list of new developments. Having a safe place to explore allows new-found mobility to flourish. Hand-eye coordination increases. All of these exciting new developments give you more chances to play and connect with your baby. The bond will continue to grow. Let your child set the pace whenever you can. She'll learn a valuable lesson about trusting you and the world.

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