How to Teach Toddlers About Emotions

Toddlers are extremely emotional beings. They can go from seeming devastatingly crushed to joyously buoyant in a matter of seconds. Their feelings can be hurt by the smallest slight, and they can become distraught when the emotions they feel aren’t validated. At the same time, they are beginning the bewildering task of figuring out the emotions of others through their words and facial clues. Just as spending time with a toddler talking about behavior helps him learn, discussing emotions is extremely beneficial to his development.

Instructions

    • 1

      Give credibility to the emotions your toddler expresses. If your child becomes devastated and acts out because he has been denied a request for a second ice cream cone, resist the urge to dismiss his response as ridiculous. Instead, you might say, “I can see that you are very upset that you aren’t getting more ice cream.” This validates his feelings, letting him know you care about how he feels. If your child is afraid of a picture of a giant in a storybook, let her know you understand she thinks the giant is scary, and that everyone feels afraid sometimes. Telling her that there’s nothing to be afraid of may only make her feel as though you don’t believe her feelings are real.

    • 2

      Express your own feelings using words your child can understand. “I am so happy that we decided to take this walk in the park today.” “I’m feeling sad that my new vase fell off the table and broke.” Show the child that expressing feelings is acceptable, and that it is possible to go on with one’s day even when one is feeling blue or angry.

    • 3

      Help toddlers recognize--and sympathize with, when appropriate--the emotions expressed by their peers. “Tommy is feeling sad because it’s time to go home” or “Annie is angry because Brett took away the tractor she was playing with.”

    • 4

      Use books and stories to get across the idea that everyone experiences emotions. As you read a book aloud, talk about how a character is feeling and why the character is feeling that way. After the child becomes familiar with the story, ask questions and let the child supply the information. For example, in “The Cat in the Hat,” you might talk about why the fish is feeling angry. After several readings, you might say, “Oh, the fish is feeling angry. Why do you think he is feeling angry?”

    • 5

      Practice the skill of identifying facial expressions. Use books to help with this task. Point to characters (human or animal, as long as they are adequately drawn for your purposes) and ask what kind of face the character is making. You might start with broad categories like happy, sad and angry, but toddlers will eventually be able to recognize and name facial expressions representing other, more complicated emotions like frustration, fear and surprise.

    • 6

      Ask children to make faces with you. Practice making sad, happy, angry, surprised and other emotional expressions. Keep in mind that this is a developmental skill some children may acquire earlier than others. Don’t press it; if your toddler isn’t ready, wait a few months and try the activity again.

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