What Causes a Toddler's Fear of Strangers?

For parents of easygoing babies, it might come as a shock when their children enter the toddler stage and begin to exhibit a fear of strangers. This fear can present itself through a range of behaviors, from a child becoming clingy, to full-blown tantrums when strangers appear. Most parents will find that getting to the root of this shift in behavior is not always cut and dry.

  1. Normal Development

    • Developing a fear of strangers is a normal stage of development beginning with toddlers around 16 months of age, according to the website What to Expect. It is a phase referred to as ̶0;stranger suspicion,̶1; which differs from the separation anxiety experienced in infancy. Stranger suspicion can be directed toward anyone outside of a child̵7;s immediate family, including friends and relatives your toddler used to light up around. Rest assured that it is a common developmental milestone which typically fades with time.

    Rational Thinking

    • The driving force behind this new fear of strangers is actually rational thought. The What to Expect website explains that toddlers are beginning to more completely understand the world around them, recognizing dangers that exist. Stranger suspicion might stem from the rational realization that someone who is not mom or dad could hurt them. Childhealthcare.org suggests increasing your toddlers experiences outside your home so that they can begin to be exposed to strangers, and the perceived danger they might fear, with you by their side.

    Complex Thought Process

    • Your toddler is beginning to make more connections with how the world works, and the potential dangers they might be exposed to. They have learned that trying to climb the stairs can result in falling, and that mom and dad might sometimes leave them with other people for extended periods. Stranger suspicion is in part due to this new complex thought process that tells them a stranger might take over care-giving duties while mom and dad disappear. This understanding can tap into their previous separation anxiety, igniting a fear of strangers that revolves around not wanting mom and dad to leave.

    Unidentifiable Anxieties

    • A variety of potential anxieties could be fueling a wariness of strangers. Toddlers have a difficult time separating reality from imagination, and it could be that a recent bedtime story has sparked the new fear or a television commercial you weren̵7;t even aware they were watching has now instilled concern. Whatever the reason, reassure yourself that this is normal. Don̵7;t push your toddler to cross her own boundaries, but rather comfort her without teasing until she begins to feel comfortable once more.

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