How to Get Your Toddler to Listen

Get down on your toddler's level when you talk to her. You can sit or squat down or lift her up and make eye contact with her when you speak. She will listen much more attentively this way.

Speak clearly and simply. If you talk for too long, your toddler will likely stop listening, since toddlers have very short attention spans. If you need him to do something, don't make it a request. For example, "It's time to come to the table for lunch" is much clearer for your toddler to understand your wishes than "Come on for lunch now, OK?" However, it's OK to give your toddler choices to help him establish a sense of control, but stick to a maximum of two. For example, "It's lunch time. Would you like to sit in your booster seat or your high chair?"

Be consistent and follow through with what you say. Follow through quickly and avoid repeating yourself over and over again. Not only can this become frustrating, your toddler will also be less responsive in urgent situations when she's used to you repeating a request multiple times. If you warn her that you'll take the toy away if she throws it during a temper tantrum, do so. If you tell her she must help clean up her toys before snack time, don't leave the toy room until she's completed the task.

Incorporate visual or tactile cues with your instructions or statements. When bath time approaches, say "It's time for a bath" as you show him one of his bath toys and guide him toward the bathroom.

Give warnings when transitioning from one task to another. This can help prepare your toddler for the upcoming change. Let your child know that playtime is over and it will be lunch time approximately five minutes before you bring her inside to eat: "It's almost time for lunch. I'll call you to come in to wash your hands for lunch in a few minutes."

Motivate with fun, when possible. After playing in the toy room for an hour, your toddler might feel a little exasperated when you tell him it's time for him to clean up his mess. Instead, announce that it's clean-up time -- incorporating a song will make your toddler even more attentive -- and then make the process fun. You can help him return his books to the shelf by organizing them from largest to smallest, have him choose colors one at a time and find all of those items to toss in the toy bin.

Accentuate the positive when possible, too. Instead of "You have to clean up the toys or you won't get to play with them tomorrow," try "Clean up the toys, and then you can pick out your favorite book for story time." When you aren̵7;t full of instructions she doesn̵7;t want to listen to, she̵7;ll be more attentive, since listening equals a positive result.

Catch your child's good behavior and praise her for it. While there is plenty ̶0;Don't touch that̶1; and ̶0;No, don't do that̶1; in a day, incorporating positive reinforcement will make your toddler less likely to avoid listening when you do have to provide instruction or correction.

Incorporate activities that foster the development of good listening skills. When you read to your child at bedtime, stop at the end of each page and ask him what has taken place. As you do this more often, he will begin to anticipate your inquiry and pay closer attention to the story so he̵7;ll be able to answer the question. Play games that require your toddler to pay attention, such as "Simon Says." Talk to him with different types of speech, such as whispering and singing, to help him learn to tune in.

Show your toddler how to be a good listener by being one yourself. Look at your toddler when she talks to you, giving her your undivided attention when possible and letting her finish her thoughts before responding respectfully.