Can Roughhousing With Toddlers Hurt Them Long-Term?

Kids tumbling in a pile over an adult or each other as they roughhouse together in play can cause many parents to worry. Children can get hurt. Feelings can be hurt when one person wins and another loses. The fear of long-lasting harm comes to mind, and many parents feel the urge to break up the activity. However, before you step into the fray, take a new look at roughhousing. Far from creating lasting damage, roughhousing may actually help your child develop physically, mentally and emotionally.

  1. Roughhousing Stimulates the Brain

    • When you wrestle or roughhouse with your child, you are asking him to solve a shifting problem. For example, if the goal of the game it to pull Mom̵7;s sock off her foot, he will have to figure out how to get to Mom̵7;s foot, grab the sock and pull it off. At the same time, Mom is working to keep her foot away from the child and even clenching her foot inside her sock. Regardless of how many times you play this game, the solution will be different each time. This teaches your child how to think on his feet and read each situation to find the best solution. As he becomes more comfortable with this process, he is able to use this strategy to face other shifting challenges in his life.

    Roughhousing Teaches Emotional Understanding

    • Beyond looking at the physical problem, your child is also learning how to read his opponent. Roughhousing gives your child experience in judging facial expressions and body language. He learns to guess what his opponent is going to do next. In the process, he also learns to control his own emotions. Toddlers are notorious for flashing from impatience to joy. Roughhousing gives them the chance to face and control their frustrations in an entertaining way and with a trusted supporter.

    Roughhousing Builds Trust

    • Children -- even toddlers -- know that adults are bigger and stronger. Adults and children can only roughhouse together when the adult holds back. This teaches toddlers several lessons. First of all, it shows that holding back isn̵7;t always a sign of weakness. It also models fairness and empathy for the little one. When a stronger adult allows the smaller toddler to win, the toddler learns that winning isn̵7;t always the goal of strength.

    How to Keep Roughhousing Safe

    • Keep in mind the simple phrase ̶0;rowdy, not dangerous̶1; when roughhousing with your child. That means using common sense. Play rough games with your child in a place where neither your child nor your home will be hurt. That means playing away from tables, walls or heavy furniture. Play on a soft or giving surface such as a carpeted playroom or a grassy yard. The floor is the best place for rowdy play, since toddlers can tumble off the side of a bed or couch. Be aware of your child̵7;s reactions to the play. He should be laughing and smiling. If you hear screams or silence, the play may have gotten too intense and it may be time to wind down.

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