Why Some Teens Have Trouble With Their Parents

Even if you enjoyed the years of preadolescence, your child can do a complete 180 when making the transition to true-blue teen. The teen brain is constantly developing and changing, which means that while your teen might think he's an adult, he doesn't always make grownup decisions. If you find yourself constantly at odds with your once-pleasant child, consider some of the reasons your teen might be sounding the battle cry. Independence, communication and just a plain sour mood can seriously affect your relationship.

  1. Indepedence and Separation

    • As your teen gets older, he craves independence for which he might not be ready. As a parent, you're there to help make some of the more difficult decisions. Unfortunately, your teen might not want the help as he struggles to become more of an adult, which can mean conflict in the home. On the flip side, you might not be ready to give him the separation and independence he craves, which makes you hold on tighter as he tries to push away -- a recipe for misunderstanding and trouble.

    Differences

    • Along with the natural separation that comes with age comes a difference in opinions, notes Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., in an article for Psychology Today. Your teen spends more and more time out of the house, developing her tastes in music, culture, fashion and eventually, morality and standards. And while you may agree on some things, conflict can arise when you disagree on something like education, responsibility and even politics. The initial separation becomes more drastic when your teen doesn't think you see her point of view.

    Communication

    • Sometimes, your teen talks your ear off; other times, you can barely get him to make a peep. Trouble with communication can create friction between you and your teen, especially if you aren't communicating regularly or efficiently. Getting your teen to talk by asking meaningful questions and then really listening can help smooth over some parent-teen trouble. It's also important to ensure your communication is clear and consistent or you could be risking a yelling match.

    Moodiness

    • Sometimes, your actions can make your teen upset. Other times, your entire family is subject to your teen's mood, no matter what you did or said. Teens can be moody and sensitive for a number of reasons, like social stress, hormones, a lack of sleep or self-esteem. If you're having out-of-the-ordinary trouble with your teen, it could be a case of oversensitivity or moodiness. An extra dose of sensitivity when your child appears to be on edge can help. You can also help offer solutions to a bad day or social strife, since teens are still learning to solve problems, suggests David Servan-Schreiber, in Psychologies magazine.

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