How to Deal With the Hurt of Having a Teen Run Away

Few things are more painful for loving parents to face than a teen running away. When this occurs, your mind is likely to race through every fight and conversation you had with your child, searching for signs you missed that indicated her intent to leave -- and admonishing yourself for not recognizing those signs. However, James Lehman M.S.W., writing for the EmpoweringParents website, theorizes that the main reason teens run away is actually because they lack the problem-solving skills to deal with their issues head on. Still, it's common for parents to blame themselves and struggle with the wave of emotions that inevitably follows. Processing the hurt is possible, but it takes some work and self-reflection.

Instructions

    • 1

      Find a professional counselor in your area who has experience working with families of runaways. Describe your family dynamics and remain open to suggestions for improving the situation should your teen return. Use this time to focus on your feelings and on healing.

    • 2

      Turn to friends and family as you process the emotions you are experiencing. Rely on them to help around the house and assist with the care of your other children as you continue to look for your teen. Accept assistance from those who are willing to provide it.

    • 3

      Reflect on the role you believe you played in your teen running away -- and then forgive yourself for past missteps. Recognize that all parents make mistakes and that this is not your fault. Resolve to make some changes in the future to have a better relationship with all your children.

    • 4

      Keep a journal to explore your complicated emotions as you deal with this turn of events. Record your thoughts and allow yourself to remain open and honest about how you are feeling. Read back on certain sections over time to see if you missed anything that might help locate your teen.

    • 5

      Continue actively searching for your child. Create and place fliers around town wherever you think your teen might see them. Speak to local news and radio stations, and seek the help of any authorities who might be able to lend a hand.

    • 6

      Allow yourself to find moments of happiness. Go to movies with friends or dine out with your partner and other children. Focus on what you do have and the love that still surrounds you. Grant yourself the occasional break from worrying.

    • 7

      Hold out hope that your teen will return. Remain relentless in your search, never giving up. Continue believing that your child will return -- and maintain a place for him in your home when he does.

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