How Does a Divorce Affect a Teenager's Ability to Trust?
Despite the relative frequency with which divorce takes place in modern society, a disruption in the family structure still affects the children involved. Younger children and teenagers don̵7;t always respond in the same way. While elementary school-aged children may experience extended periods of grief, teenagers may be more likely to experience anger, resentment or hostility as a result of divorce. Teenagers may find that their ability to trust has been diminished as a result of the domestic and emotional upheaval.
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Priorities
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Children typically assume that their parents prioritize their needs as part of being a mom or dad. When parents decide to divorce, teens may feel that their own preferences and well-being have taken a back seat to the needs of parents. Teens may conclude that their parents didn̵7;t try hard enough to keep the family together. This can lead to a loss of faith or trust that parents took responsibility for the basic task of keeping everyone under the same roof. If teens assumed that their parents had a selfless dedication to the family unit, the decision to divorce can appear selfish or irresponsible. In addition, if one parent will take a back seat in custody arrangements, this may cause the teen to question that parent's level of commitment or love.
Relocations
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Divorce can also affect a teenager̵7;s ability to trust when it comes to domestic stability. When parents divorce, housing arrangements sometimes shuffle as one or both parents move out and establish new households. Teens may deeply resent shuttling back and forth between parental homes, experiencing disruption or instability related to the logistics of managing clothing, toiletries, school supplies or athletic gear. Teens may feel distrustful about the permanency of their new lodging, especially if they̵7;re comparing notes with peers who have undergone rocky divorce processes that involved frequent moves.
Divorce Process
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Some divorce proceedings may be amicable enough, but divorces can deepen stress or emotional tension between parents. Teens who witness intense fights, whether related to marital concerns, asset division or custody issues, may lose faith in their parents̵7; basic compassion. A parent may unfairly attempt to persuade teenagers to take her side, sharing inappropriate stories or complaints about her former partner. Teenagers may view one parent as the culprit behind the divorce, the mother, for example, that she is creating trust issues for everyone involved.
Compounded Factors
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Although trust is just one component that makes divorce difficult for teens, other related factors can compound to worsen the situation. Divorce can lead to anxiety, school problems, substance abuse, sexual experimentation, infractions of the law and other major complications. As teachers, counselors, other family members, mediators or law enforcement officials become involved, teens may feel that they are being cornered instead of being allowed to process the divorce in their own (unhealthy) way. This can cause teenagers to withdraw, physically or emotionally, as their ability to trust the general community diminishes.
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