How to Parent a Dating Daughter

If your daughter is old enough to date, chances are you've had a few conversations with her concerning selecting the right companion for a relationship or staying safe when out at night. Keeping the line of communication open with your daughter so that she feels comfortable talking to you about her dating experiences will not only help to strengthen your bond, but can prepare her for a healthy and fulfilling adult relationship.

Things You'll Need

  • Notebook
  • Pen
  • Table
  • Chair

Instructions

    • 1

      Establish clear rules for your daughter concerning dating, and talk with her about these boundaries. Write down these rules on a sheet of paper, and even allow your daughter to add some rules of your own that can be negotiated. For instance, let her know that her boyfriend is not allowed in the house unless you are there, and inform her that you don't feel comfortable with your daughter and her boyfriend going into her room and closing the door completely. But allow your daughter to write down what time she'd like to come in from a date. If she chooses midnight, but she's 15 and you feel that's too late, offer her 10 p.m., so that you can eventually settle on 11 or 11:30.

    • 2

      If the relationship is new, arrange a time to meet the young man your daughter is dating, or to set up a time to invite him and his parents over for dinner. This will give you a chance to become familiar with your teen's special friend and his family, which should ease your mind about your daughter's dating relationship. Let your daughter's boyfriend know that you are available to talk if he has any questions or wants to know more about your teen.

    • 3

      Check in with your daughter often to determine whether she is happy in her relationship. Make sure that the talks are casual, so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed. For instance, sit down at the kitchen table on a weekend morning and talk to her over breakfast. Discuss the principles of mutual respect and emotional safety with her, so that she will know how to handle herself if she and her boyfriend have a disagreement, and will be able to detect when she is being emotionally abused.

    • 4

      Be a positive example to your dating daughter. Make your daughter aware of the fact that her parents go on dates often, and show appropriate affection to one another in her presence. If you're dating as well, set boundaries for yourself that are similar to the ones that you're attempting to instill in your daughter, such as moving slowly when it comes to intimacy, or handling disagreements without raising your voice or using harsh language.

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