How to Talk to a Teen About Dealing with Bullies
While teasing and bullying has almost always been a part of high school life, statistics have shown it to have gotten worse with the advent of cell phones and other electronics. Today, bullying not only takes place in person but also via text messaging, instant messaging, blog posts, chat rooms and social networking websites.
According to the website TeenViolenceStatistics.com, nearly a quarter of all teens say that they are frequent victims of bullying. Talking with your teen about bullying can be difficult since it is a sensitive subject. There are a few different ways to broach the subject, however, and to instill some helpful and caring advice.
Instructions
Find current or popular news stories to segue into your conversation about bullying. Look at local newspapers, television news programs or on the Internet for news stories about bullying, and then casually ask your teen if he has heard about the news stories. Inform him that if he is being bullied that he can come to you or another adult to talk about it and report it. Ask your teen what her social situation is at school, and listen closely to what she has to say. Ask her if she has ever witnessed someone being bullied or if she has ever been bullied and, if so, for what reason. Do not interrupt your teen if she starts to open up to you. Instead, silently listen. If your teen does not want to talk about it or open up to you, encourage her to seek another relative or adult to talk to about it. Calmly respond to what your teen tells you. If your teen tells you that he̵7;s being bullied, your initial reaction might be to become angry and find out who the bully is so that you can stop it. Doing so may cause your teen to not want to talk about it any longer for fear of retaliation from the bully. Instead, keep your composure and calmly ask your teen for additional details about what̵7;s going on. For example, try to find out how long the bullying has been going on, where it usually occurs and who the bully is. Share your own experiences with your teen. If you have ever been bullied, teased or discriminated against, tell your teen about the situation you faced and how you dealt with it. Explain to her that life is different after high school, that things can change and that most bullies are insecure, unhappy people themselves. Provide your teen with tips on how to deal with bullies. Some different strategies include ignoring the bully and not feeding into the tactics by responding, having a friend with him to have his back throughout the school day and standing up for himself and not settling for being bullied. Have follow-up conversations to see how your teen̵7;s bullying situation is going. Ask her from time to time if the situation has gotten better or worse. If the situation continues, explain to your teen that you have to get involved and ask her how she̵7;d like to proceed. Decide on a plan of action together (i.e., talking with the principal, meeting with the bully̵7;s parents) rather than jumping in and doing something against your teen̵7;s wishes.