The Effects of Popularity on Teens
It is natural for everyone to want to be popular, but because teenagers are having other issues as they mature and as hormones are changing, it takes on a much more important role. Friendship and social acceptance are important to both males and females. Teens may view themselves as popular while their peers do not necessarily agree with them, or they may be perceived by their peers as popular, confirming their views. Either way, their perception of where they fit in can affect them either positively or negatively.
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The Costs
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Popularity is a fickle mistress. Once a teen becomes popular, she must maintain it. To do so, she may act contrary to her own beliefs or upbringing. Popular teens will associate with other popular teens. The expectations associated are often that well-liked kids will indulge in certain behaviors, even when those involve drugs, alcohol or sex. A teen straining to be popular, or to maintain popularity, may participate just to remain one of the ̶0;cool̶1; ones. Parents are mystified as to what to do, but strict control is not the answer. Some degree of autonomy is necessary, but there should be limits.
Weight
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Harvard University researchers found that teens who perceived themselves to be less popular were more likely to gain weight than those who considered themselves popular. They concluded that schools could help teens by providing more socially acceptable activities in which they could participate. In addition to eating habits, both parents and schools can assist a teen's social acceptability by providing social networks for her and encouraging her to join group activities, fostering higher levels of self-esteem.
Positive Perception
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How a teen perceives his popularity is just as important as how others see him. Sometimes he will be involved in activities outside of school -- perhaps in church or a community group -- and may have a following there. In that case, he does not feel he is on the bottom rung when it comes to school popularity. He feels good about himself and has a higher measure of self-esteem. He does not depend on his level of popularity at school to define him. Teens usually develop socially and emotionally in positive ways when they have a positive image of themselves.
Negative Perception
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Teens who do not feel popular and lack a social standing are often the ones who suffer the most and do not look favorably on high school years. Such a teen may have problems reconciling her lack of acceptability and turn to acts of hostility toward peers. If she seems chronically despondent, parents should consider a professional diagnosis to rule out any significant emotional traumas that may surface later. Some signs to look for are poor academic achievement, rage, self-deprecation and a lack of friends. Parents can help by praising, refraining from criticism and assisting in areas where the teen feels she is deficient.
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