A Sense of Belonging in Teenagers
Teenagers thrive on a sense of belonging because they want to feel appreciated and respected by their peers. A teen often gravitates to a specific clique that has similar interests to his, so he has a higher probability of fitting in with the group. Parents should encourage teens to find peer groups that promote positive social interactions and engage in appropriate behavior.
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Identity
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Teenagers develop personal identities during the adolescent years. They often discover their strengths, talents, interests, short- and long-term goals, moral standards, belief systems and work ethic. A teenager slowly gravitates away from her original family and becomes more independent, identifying more closely with peers, according to licensed social worker Bette Freedson on HelpStartsHere.org. Peer groups can influence a teenager's developing identity for the good or the bad, depending on the social values the group holds. Groups with positive social values encourage self-respect and self-confidence, while those with negative values often promote misconduct.
Value to the Community
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Teenagers crave a sense of belonging because they want to contribute to their peer groups, families and the community as a whole. It is human nature for teens to want to develop skills so they can benefit others and in return experience a sense of belonging and recognition, according to professional counselor Ugo Uche on the "Psychology Today" website. A teenager might join an athletic team, academic club, musical band, theater group or religious organization so he can use his skills to support larger goals, outside of himself.
Security
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A teenager wants to fit in with her peers so she feels safe and secure. Trying to get through life on her own is scary, intimidating and overwhelming, so she looks for ways to belong. A teenager's need to be part of a group is instinctual, a means of survival, says child behavior therapist James Lehman in Empowering Parents. Teens need reinforcement from their peers so they feel wanted and accepted. A teenager doesn't want to spend Friday nights alone or eat in the high school cafeteria by herself, because there is security in numbers.
Self-Worth
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A teenager's self-worth is wrapped up in his sense of belonging. A low self- worth usually stems from feeling inadequate or incompetent in social settings, according to Uche. A teenager who is shy, awkward or uncomfortable in social settings often feels ostracized and out of place. He often connects with other teens who struggle with the same issues. As a teenager enters adulthood, peer pressure lessens and he slowly becomes less dependent on what his peers think of him. Older teenagers still want to belong but they often choose social groups based on personal preference, compatible goals and similar career or academic lifestyles.
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