Teaching Etiquette to Adolescent Boys

More than Tea

• Good etiquette is about treating people kindly and behaving in a way that makes others feel valued and appreciated. When explaining a particular rule of etiquette -- whether it's not texting at the dinner table or failing to send a thank-you note -- explain the effect his action or lack of action has on that person, and how following proper etiquette can alleviate those issues.

Cite and Explain

• You don't need to a have a formal sit-down lesson with your teen son about proper introductions and personal presentation, but it's still a conversation worth having before etiquette mistakes occur. The next time you and your son meet someone whose personal presentation is either impressive or lacking, talk with your son afterward about how that person made his impression, including a firm handshake, eye contact and listening. Identifying and discussing these daily examples as they come up can help your son become more self-aware.

Enlist an Expert Instructor

• Have an etiquette instructor teach your son and a few of his friends a class on etiquette. Research and choose the instructor wisely to ensure she is a good fit for your son's interests. For example, a relatively young instructor who emphasizes proper skills for meeting, hiring managers, college interviewers and school recruiters is likely to hold his interest longer than someone his grandmother's age who focuses on napkin placement.

Opportunities for Practicing Good Etiquette

• Developing good manners and etiquette takes practice. You don't need to frequent upscale restaurants or host formal dinner parties, but it's hard to practice appropriate dining etiquette if the last time your family ate dinner sitting at a table was a major holiday. Eating out is a chance to practice, but so is having a sit-down meal at home. Encourage your son to practice introducing himself with a firm hand-shake and some small talk the next time he finds you speaking to a new neighbor or a parent he hasn't met before.