Dealing With a Gifted Teenager

Gifted teenagers face immense challenges as they transition from childhood to adulthood. Acutely aware of the differences between themselves and others, many gifted teenagers feel isolated and alone. They may struggle in school, worry about the world as a whole and battle with authority figures. Although parenting a gifted teenager is often tough, your support is vital to your child̵7;s success.

  1. School Difficulties

    • Many gifted teenagers simply do not fit in at school. Their level of knowledge and way of interacting with the world is often far more advanced than that of their peers. Some gifted teens turn to alcohol and drugs, while others show classroom difficulties similar to those of adolescents with learning disabilities. Complicating the situation is the fact that many gifted teens have multiple diagnoses that must be addressed. Advocate for your child by pushing the school to meet his needs. Request testing so that his gifts and challenges are documented. Look into advancement options including advanced placement classes, dual enrollment in college courses and after-school enrichment programs. Rapid acceleration, or grade-skipping, is sometimes the best choice for highly gifted teens. Find mentors who share similar interests with your child and provide plenty of intellectually challenging books at home.

    Social Concerns

    • According to Miraca Gross, a professional in the field of gifted education, research consistently shows that optimal social intelligence appears in kids with IQs of 125 through 155. Gifted teens in this group may be tempted to downplay their intellect to fit in. In teens with IQs of 160 or above, the fundamental differences between themselves and their age peers are often too drastic to ignore. At this level, despite the child̵7;s attempts to fit in, there is simply not enough common ground to form friendships. If your teen is in an age-graded classroom or even accelerated by one or two grades, friendship opportunities outside of school take on primary importance. Help your teen connect with older students and adults who share his interests. Provide opportunities for her to meet other highly gifted people through enrollment in a high-IQ society such as Mensa or through online support networks.

    Personal Issues

    • Gifted teens often wrestle with existential issues such as the meaning of life and the definitions of good and evil. Although all teens struggle to find a personal identity and set of values, gifted teens tend to be perfectionistic and place unreasonably high demands on themselves. They question everything in great detail and can find what is wrong with every situation. They are painfully aware of their own flaws and tend to judge themselves based on how they think others perceive them. Be a sounding board for your gifted teenager. Encourage her to think through issues and situations and stress your confidence that she will come to the conclusions that are right for her. Encourage him to pursue his interests and accept his tendency to try on many different identities.

    Family Dynamics

    • Gifted teenagers bring a highly individualized perspective to family dynamics. They develop asynchronously, meaning that your gifted child might argue with the finesse of a courtroom lawyer before going to bed with a stuffed animal. Gifted teens tend to want freedom and independence, yet rely on their parents to handle major issues for them. Encourage your teen̵7;s independence by helping her think through ways of solving problems rather than solving them for her. Base freedoms on past performance, allowing your child to earn his way through progressively more responsibility for his own life. Walk away from heated arguments, but leave the conversation open for another time.

    2. Previous:

    Next: