What to Do When a Teenager Does Not Go to School?

There are many reasons a teenager may refuse go to school; often your teen will be dealing with more than one. The feeling that he is inadequate to academic tasks, bullying, social isolation, teaching styles that don't match his learning style, self-destructive behaviors, negative peer pressure and even just total disinterest in earning a high school degree may figure into his decision to part ways with a traditional classroom education. When confronted with a teen who's established a pattern of refusing to participate in school, parents can help by first determining the forces leading to his decision.

  1. Unraveling Antecedents

    • Teens can be masters at disguising school-side troubles. Rather than bother their parents or admit to failure they may simply refuse one day to go to school. However, in most instances, there will be red flags leading up to their decision to pitch school. Parents can best approach the situation by taking time to analyze why their teen has dropped out. Ongoing poor grades are often a sign of learning problems or lack of interest. A rapid drop in grades may signal drug use. Talk with your teen in a non-threatening manner. Express heartfelt interest in his reasons for refusing schooling. At first he may be angry, resentful and uncooperative. But receiving an adequate education in today's society is an important gateway to independence. Persist in opening up communication with your teen until you feel that he's being honest in sharing all his reasons for quitting school.

    Determining Primary Concerns

    • Rank the reasons for your teen's refusal to attend school from most debilitating to least. For instance, her reasons center on negative peer pressure and learning difficulties. Of greatest concern is removing her from an unsafe environment. Forcing her to return to a school where she's assailed by peers to engage in sex, drugs or violence, or where she experiences daily bullying, will only make the problem of receiving an education greater. Of secondary concern is determining specific learning difficulties. Prioritizing motives gives you direction for exploring solutions to facilitate your teen getting back on the road to earning a diploma.

    Exploring Options

    • There are options to mitigate whatever reasons your teen has for refusing traditional school. They must be custom-fit to the situation. For instance, if boring classes are the problem, he could enroll in community college course work and transfer completed credits to the high school degree program. Possibly online course work through an accredited high school or university might interest and challenge him more. If he's self-destructive, he needs to first receive intervention -- his emotional and physical health must be addressed before academics. School districts often offer alternative schools that better meet struggling students' needs. Meet with school staff to learn what is available and for input on what might be the best fit for your teen. Homeschooling is a viable option if, as a parent, you're organized and committed to working daily with your teen, and if your teen will cooperatively tackle course work with your help.

    Creating a Community Support System

    • Seek support for your efforts to help your teen. Check on community sources that may be available, such as counseling. Request that the school counselor and administration be part of your teen-help-team. As a parent of a dropout, you will need to become highly involved in providing her with the help she needs, whatever form that help may take. Part of the goal of a community support system is to meet regularly and review how the customized plan is going for your struggling teen. Is the alternative school setting working? Do you need to create yet another plan to meet her needs and assist her in making progress toward a high school degree? Helping a reluctant teen to ultimately earn a diploma can happen; the "how" will in great degree be determined by the "why" she rejected traditional schooling in the first place.

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