Reasonable Consequences for Teens When They Are Not Responsible

Teens go through a lot between surging hormones, school work, a part-time job, social obligations and extracurricular activities. Sometimes they don't make the best decisions, and it's your job to discipline them and teach them to make better choices next time. Reasonable consequences help your teen learn to be responsible while also preserving your relationship with her.

  1. Natural Consequences

    • A natural consequence is one that occurs due to your teen's actions. Sometimes, letting nature take its course after she fails to be responsible is an appropriate way to teach her to make a better decision next time. For example, if your teen decides to watch television instead of doing her homework, she has to explain why she didn't finish it the next day or take a poor grade, advises to Iowa State University. Natural consequences work well in situations that aren't going to harm your teen or put her future in jeopardy.

    Consistent Consequences

    • If your teen gets grounded for staying out late one week, but the following week you let it go, she isn't learning to be responsible. Consistent and reasonable consequences are important for letting your teen know that breaking the rules is going to result in the same thing each and every time. For example, if your teen loses her phone privileges for the next day every time she gets caught texting after lights out, it won't take long for her to understand that her irresponsibility isn't allowed. Set clear rules about responsibility and their consequences before they occur so your teen knows what to expect each time.

    Positive Consequences

    • Many teens respond better to rewards than punishments. If you give your teen positive consequences when she is responsible, she's much more likely to want to keep it up. If your teen comes in before curfew each night for a week, reward her with an extended curfew on the weekend so she can see a movie she's been wanting to see. Or, let your teen have extra computer or phone time if she completes her homework without reminders from you. This technique makes her feel positive about her behavior and gives her a valuable incentive to be responsible without fights, punishments or other conflict in your home.

    Task-oriented Consequences

    • A task-oriented consequence is one that aligns the consequence with the specific lack of responsibility. As your child carries out the consequence, she is forced to remember her lack of responsibility each time. For example, if your teen breaks curfew, she must come in an hour early for the next three nights, suggests James Lehman, MSW, with the Empowering Parents website. After those three nights, if she follows through, she can have her normal curfew back. When the consequence is directly linked to the infraction, your teen learns to be more responsible the next time around.

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