What to Do When Your Teen Starts to Be Rude When You Have Company

Having guests in your home is likely a time of enjoyment and relaxation. If your teenager walks into the gathering and proceeds to ̶0;charm̶1; your guests with rude remarks and disrespectful behavior, you might feel like crawling into a hole. As unpleasant as some teenage behavior is, occasional rudeness is a common issue that you can resolve.

  1. Maintain Composure

    • Although you might feel humiliated, frustrated and angry about your teen̵7;s disrespectful behavior, fight these emotions and try not to personalize your teen̵7;s behavior, recommends social worker Janet Lehman, with the Empowering Parents website. If you can separate any personal hurt and anger about the behavior, it becomes easier to respond without emotion. This helps prevent even more of a scene in front of your company, too.

    Examine the Problem

    • Analyze the conversation and actions that led up to your teen̵7;s behavior to try to figure out what precipitated the rudeness, suggests Mark Gregston, author and founder of Heartlight Ministries, a teen residential counseling center. While you shouldn't excuse the disrespect, you can gain some insight about your child̵7;s behavior that will help you understand why it occurred. Perhaps your teen thought someone was asking too many questions or asked a provocative question, which made him speak disrespectfully. Analyzing the events that lead up to the behavior will help you discuss it with your teen more effectively.

    Communicate With Your Teen

    • Ask your teen to take a time-out from the gathered company. You might say, ̶0;That attitude doesn̵7;t sit well with me. Would you please take it somewhere else and we can talk about this later.̶1; After your company leaves, speak with your teen about the incident. Using respectful and effective ̶0;I statements,̶1; you might say, ̶0;I was pretty surprised that you decided to speak to me like that in front of company. I felt embarrassed by that behavior.̶1; Expressing feelings like this enables you to share feelings effectively, according to the Children̵7;s Hospital University of Missouri Health Care website. Listen respectfully to your teen̵7;s response to learn details about why your teen acted disrespectfully.

    Resolution

    • Express the importance of respectful communication among people so your teenager understands your expectations. You might tell him that when he wants to speak with you, he must always speak respectfully in order to receive a response, suggests extension specialist Diana S. Del Campo, with New Mexico State University. Respect is reciprocal, so you might also assure your teen that you will always try to communicate respectfully with him, too.

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