How to Help a Pregnant Teen With Open Adoption

A teenager faced with an unplanned pregnancy has a huge choice to make -- parenting, termination or adoption. Fortunately for birth mothers, closed adoptions, in which they have no access to their babies after the adoption, are giving way to open adoptions, in which the birth mother is like an extended family member. The child will know her biological parent, and your daughter will know where her baby is. Navigating the world of adoption decisions on her own is likely to be overwhelming for a teen, so she'll need your help going through the process.

Instructions

    • 1

      Research adoption agencies online. Discuss the information you find with your daughter in detail. She should ultimately be the one to choose which agency she wants to work with.

    • 2

      Schedule an appointment with an adoption counselor at the agency. Offer to attend the meeting with your daughter, but don't be surprised if she doesn't want you there, especially if she's still dating the baby's father. Don't get your feelings hurt -- he helped make the baby, and if he's willing to be there, he should be.

    • 3

      Talk to the adoption counselor one-on-one after she's through talking to your daughter. If the counselor recommends psychological treatment or further medical testing during your daughter's pregnancy, get recommendations and schedule appointments.

    • 4

      Repeat as often as possible to your daughter that the decision to go through with the pregnancy and give the child up has to be hers alone. You can counsel her, if you're able to do it non-judgmentally and without inserting religion into the conversation. Your faith should not affect her choice.

    • 5

      Help her choose an adoptive family, but don't make the choice for her. Look through the books of potential parents at the adoption agency or at their profiles on the adoption website. Discuss the pros and cons of each set of parents. If she's undecided, make a pros and cons list to assist her in making the decision.

    • 6

      Seek the support of as many of her friends as possible before, during and immediately after birth. She needs her peers to remind her she's doing the right thing and to help keep her spirits up. When she's out of the hospital, schedule friends to come be with her that night, even if all she does is sleep. Keep a support system around her at all times, and be alert to the signs of postpartum depression.

    • 7

      Encourage her to exercise, and offer to exercise with her. Not only can it help her body return to its post-pregnancy appearance, it boosts mood. If all she can do at first is go for a walk around the block, go for a walk with her. Just having you there cheering her on because you love her is the best gift you can give her right now.

    • 8

      Encourage her to maintain contact with the adoptive family, but don't push her, as it might be hard for her to see someone else raising her baby. If necessary, sit with her when she opens emails and letters to offer support.

    • 9

      Talk to her about maintaining healthy boundaries. Some teens might want to contact adoptive parents too often, which puts them in an uncomfortable situation. Discussions should take place before the adoption about the level of contact between biological parents and the child. Remind your daughter of the adoptive family's wishes regarding emails, letters, phone calls and visits. Explain to her that the child's needs come first.

    • 10

      Take her to a support group for birth parents, where she'll be able to talk about her feelings with other teen mothers. She needs the reassurance and companionship of her peers in navigating the open adoption.

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