How to Empower Your Teenagers

It's not always easy to give your teenager the freedom to take control of her life. A parent's natural instinct is to make decisions for a child, so handing the reins of responsibility to an adolescent can be stressful. If you continue to do everything for your child even as he moves toward young adulthood, however, you risk stunting his emotional and social development. Teenagers only become mature if they are given the space to make their own decisions -- and mistakes.

Instructions

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      Even young children need a certain amount of freedom.

      Increase the amount of independence you give your child, starting at a young age. Children learn from the consequences of their actions, so let your child make mistakes so that she understands what she has to do to progress. Taking the stabilizers off her bike may be scary, but if it never happens she will not be able to ride her bike unaided. She may fall off a few times, but this will only give her a greater sense of achievement when she finally masters the skill. The confidence she gains through such experiences will accompany her into her teen years.

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      Setting rules keeps your teen safe and gives you peace of mind.

      Set age-appropriate rules and boundaries for your teenager. Young teenagers may be allowed to go to the mall with their friends, provided they are home by an agreed time. An older teen should be given more freedom in terms of where he goes, who he spends time with, and what his curfew is. Make sure your teen knows that if the rules are not followed, his freedom will be curtailed. A teenager who is given too much independence is at risk of making dangerous choices.

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      A summer job gives a teen independence and responsibility.

      Reward good grades and positive behavior with more freedom. A summer or weekend job teaches teenagers how to manage their money and deal with the grown-up responsibilities that go hand-in-hand with being an employee and working to earn money rather than being handed it by their parents. If your teen works all summer, reward her before she goes back to school by letting her go to her favorite band's concert or throw a big party for her friends.

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      Try to hold your tongue, even in stressful situations.

      Use positive, encouraging language when talking to your teen, even when he has done something wrong. Avoid using the phrase "I told you so" or starting your sentences with "You always" or "You never." Offer constructive advice, but don't bombard your teen with it or react in a way that makes the situation worse. Remember the importance of letting him learn from his own mistakes, which will empower him and help him mature into adulthood.

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