Shyness & Withdrawal in Teenagers

Shy Teenagers

• Shyness could be described as discomfort or self-consciousness around other people. Shy teenagers may appear timid, nervous and quiet in public, and may display physical symptoms such as blushing, breathlessness and reluctance to make eye contact with others. It takes a lot of effort for them to talk to strangers, socialize and make friends. A teenager may feel shy when she is faced with a new social situation, such as making new friends, embarking on a romantic relationship or starting a part-time job. As they deal with the emotional highs and lows of adolescence, it is normal for some to react to unfamiliar situations with a degree of shyness.

Withdrawn Teenagers

• Most teenagers withdraw from their parents at some stage as they assert their independence and try to deal with the stresses of adolescence on their own. This is perfectly normal and is usually nothing for parents to worry about. A teenager needs plenty of space and parents should get used to her spending longer periods of time in her room with the door closed.

Overcoming Shyness

• Taking small steps to approach unfamiliar experiences can help shy teenagers feel more confident and comfortable. Teens Health suggests they set small, achievable goals to manage shyness, for example, inviting a new classmate over or joining a club to develop a hobby or interest. There are some positive things about being shy, however. Shy people are often sensitive and prefer listening to talking, which makes them great confidants and friends. Teens should accept that shyness is part of their personality but they shouldn't let it define them. They should spend time with people who like them just the way they are and make them feel comfortable, because this will give their confidence a boost.

Tips for Parents

• If your teenager is shy, resist the temptation to push her into situations she's not prepared for. This could make her feel more uncomfortable and out of her depth. Give her space to overcome her shyness on her own, but offer gentle encouragement to boost her confidence when necessary. If you are concerned that your teen is extremely withdrawn, keep a close eye on her. Look for warning signs of a more serious problem, such as bad grades, a lack of friends or spending time with a bad crowd.

  The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommends encouraging your teen to talk about any fears or anxieties. If she is willing to open up, listen to her without interrupting. Reassure her that it is natural for her to have feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty at her age and remind her of times in her life when she has been apprehensive but managed to work through her fears, for example, when she started junior high school or went away to summer camp. If your teenager is unwilling to communicate and continues to withdraw, seek professional advice. Extended periods of withdrawal and signs of unhappiness and isolation may point to an anxiety disorder or depression.