How to Help Your Teen Cope With the Death of a Relative
The teenage years are already a difficult, emotionally laden time period. Dealing with feelings of grief over the death of a relative who might have had a significant impact on their development can feel unbearable to many teens. It's natural to want to shield your children from the impact of loss. But even if you're overwhelmed by your own feelings of grief, you can still help your teen cope during this challenging, devastating time.
Instructions
Inform your teen about the loss as soon as you learn about it. Don't try to stall or shield your teen; avoid telling half-truths or lies about the loss, advises Mourning Cloak, an organization dedicated to providing support to grieving children and teens. Lying only delays the grieving process and can cause complicated emotions. Your teen might wonder why you don't trust enough that he can handle the truth. Educate your teen about the grieving process. Since teens are already dealing with complex emotions, she might not know that it's appropriate and normal to experience specific feelings while grieving. According to the NYU Child Study Center, it's common for teens to experience feelings like numbness, anger, guilt, increased responsibility or emotional distance. Expect your teen to experience a range of emotions. There's no "one size fits all" or "normal" reaction to the death of a relative. Encourage him to share his feelings of grief with you and other family members or loved ones, suggests Hospice Net, a nonprofit organization that helps people with life-threatening illnesses. Don't advise your teen to "be strong" -- let him process any emotions he may experience. Suppressing emotions only leads to the creation of more emotional problems down the line. If he doesn't want to talk, don't press the issue, but let him come to you when he's ready. Memorialize your relative in a meaningful way. Ask your teen what she might like to do to remember her relative. Some ways that many people find helpful include sharing favorite memories about the loved one, planting a tree in the relative's memory or visiting a favorite place of the deceased. Find something that provides your teen with a sense of connection, meaning and closure. Suggest that your teen join a support group for teens who have lost loved ones. Don't force the issue -- not all teens want to share their grief in public, but a peer support group can be helpful for normalizing their experiences and getting support from others who have undergone similar losses. Consult a qualified mental health professional if your teen develops symptoms of complicated grief. Complicated grief involves symptoms that might indicate that your teen is finding it difficult to cope. These symptoms can include avoiding others, behavioral changes or changes in appearance, reckless behaviors, drug and alcohol use, skipping school or a lack of motivation. Sometimes, grief can also develop into depression, which might include symptoms like intense guilt, feelings of hopelessness or an inability to function, according to Help Guide. Don't ignore these symptoms -- seeking professional help is a sign of parental strength, not weakness. Previous:Why Teens Behave Badly
