Motivating a Teenage Daughter

Build Her Confidence

• When you feel overwhelmed or even beaten down, it̵7;s difficult to find the motivation to think about the future, much less take the steps to meet your goals. Teens thrive on sincere compliments. Help your teenage daughter find her inspiration and feel good about herself by affirming her actions. If you notice she is dressing appropriately for school and has styled her hair in a unique way, let her know. If her room is a disaster, yet she has cleaned the bathroom, tell her you appreciate her efforts. Look for ways to let your teenage daughter know how she is special ̵1; be specific and positive.

Make Her Laugh

• Constant nagging and lecturing will get you a roll of the eyes and a shrug in most instances. Take a new approach to motivate your daughter to complete household chores by using humor and sarcasm. If she neglects to put away her laundry, hide her socks around the house. Imagine her reaction when she opens the silverware drawer and finds her favorite purple slipper socks. Leave funny little reminders on sticky notes on bathroom mirrors and her vanity instead of giving her verbal reminders. She will likely giggle a little while getting her chores done.

Make a Deal

• When your daughter enters the teen years, you can bet that she is observing your behavior more than she is monitoring her own. Lead by example by making "deals" that will benefit both of you. For example, offer to take her and her friends to a movie if she completes all weekly chores a day early. Provide her with potential increases in allowance if she finishes her homework by a certain time each evening or prepares dinner one night a week. Let her have a say in the deal and create a contract to make it official.

Set Goals Together

• Teenage girls often see barriers instead of opportunities when it comes to making and reaching goals. She wants to drive a car but doesn̵7;t even have a license yet or she wants the perfect wardrobe but lacks the money to turn her fashion fantasies into reality. Motivate her to reach goals by helping her outline the realistic steps needed to accomplish them. Begin by making a list of goals and have your daughter choose her top priority. Together, brainstorm the steps she needs to take to get there. For example, if she wants a $50 dress, discuss ways she can make money. If she would like to babysit to earn some extra cash, write down potential parents she can contact, the hours she will be available and the fees she will charge. Take it one step further and calculate the number of hours she will need to babysit to earn enough to purchase the dress. With clear-cut steps, she will find the motivation to tackle one step at a time.