Teaching Teenagers Ethics
Your teen might consider her ethical approach to life appropriate if she equates it to paying close attention to her feelings. However, according to Manuel Velasquez, et al. at Santa Clara University, ethics have less to do with how you feel about a situation than doing what you know to be right, even if it is not the popular choice, such as forgoing a beer at a party because your teen knows that it̵7;s not only against the law, but dangerous as well. Teaching your teen ethics might seem overwhelming, but he already has the basic concept; you just have to help him refine it.
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Setting the Example
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According to the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, your example of good or bad ethics plays a significant part in determining whether or not your teens are ethical. If you live an honest life, your kids will grow up witnessing honesty and understand that it is the ethical thing to do. Say you accidentally break a frame that has a signed photo of a famous sports player in it, upsetting your husband a great deal. A good example of honesty is admitting to him that you are the one that knocked it over, even if he is convinced that the dog did it with his tail. You could easily get away with letting him think the dog did it rather than having him shift his disappointment over to you, but being ethical means being honest.
Clarifying the Lines
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There is no set standard for ethics. Everyone̵7;s ethical beliefs differ, which means that there is a line in certain situations that your teens need to understand. According to Mitchell M. Handelsman, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Colorado, Denver, your teen needs to learn that ethics often come with two extremes and that making the ethical decision might not always mean abiding by the law. Ask your teen what she would do if she was a therapist and her client told her that he killed someone. Doctors are required by law and confidentiality purposes to keep this information private. The law states that murder is wrong. The law also states that breaking confidentiality as a doctor is wrong. What is the ethical decision? This is a prime example of how ethics don̵7;t always follow the letter of the law and how your teens might face difficult ethical decisions in life.
Walking a Mile
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Teaching your teens about ethics means asking them to consider both sides of every situation, according to Handelsman. If your teen says something mean about a friend -- assuming that what he says is true -- he might not think it̵7;s unethical because it̵7;s true. However, asking him to put himself in his friend̵7;s shoes might help him see the ethical point of view a bit differently. He might realize it would be hurtful to hear his friend telling stories about him -- even if they are true -- because it damages his reputation.
Talk to Your Teen
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According to the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, you can teach your teen ethics by talking to her about struggling. It might be easier for her to understand ethical decisions if she understands that she will sometimes be faced with difficult decisions that call her morals and ethics into question. Talk to her about decisions that are relevant to her life at the moment and how they apply to ethics. Say her friend̵7;s boyfriend has been sending her inappropriate text messages telling her he likes her more than his girlfriend and she doesn̵7;t know what to do. When you talk openly about the fact that ethical decisions are not always easy decisions, your teen learns a valuable lesson.
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Its normal that at some point in adolescence, a teenager will feel insecure about some aspect of their life. It could be their grades, their clothes, their general appearance, the question of whether they will have a partner for the prom and distress