How Have Peers Replaced Parents in Decisions Made by Teens

Peers don't necessarily "replace" parents during the teen years -- but friends and classmates can have a powerful influence over one another. It can be tempting to go along with the crowd even when it involves less than savory decisions in the name of fitting in with the "group." A teen may choose to turn to a friend over a parent to talk about her latest crush or her hopes and dreams. However, a teen with a solid family relationship may still turn to mom or dad about important decisions or problems.

  1. Significance

    • The ever-expanding social circle of your teen will likely consist of same and opposite sex friends along with various ethnic and social groups, explains HealthyChildren.org, the official website of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Dating a peer will more than likely land on a teen's social radar at some point. Despite a teen's growing social life, parents continue to play a critical role in identity formation -- or coming to terms with body image, gender, ethnicity and taking on more "adult-like" responsibilities. It takes a village that includes peers and parents to help a teen shape his character and moral development.

    Positive Decision Making

    • Healthy peer relationships can help a teen make appropriate and mature decisions. For example, a peer may convince a teen who is thinking about dropping out of high school to stick with his education by reminding him that he'll get a higher paying job, take pride in graduating and possibly go to college. Peers also introduce each other to new interests whether it's sports, books or music. A teen may decide to take guitar lessons after hearing an amazing guitarist on a CD given to him by a peer. If a teen girl fears she is pregnant, she may get her bearings by discussing her options with a close friend before broaching the subject with her parents.

    The Darker Side of Peer-Based Decisions

    • Peers can just as easily encourage one another to make poor or risky decisions like shoplifting, cheating on a test, cutting class or using alcohol and drugs. In fact, most teens who develop substance abuse issues succumbed to peer pressure, reports the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology. Teens with a close relationship with their parents are less inclined to try drugs or engage in risky sexual behaviors. Nurturing your teen's unique abilities helps build her self-esteem and makes her less vulnerable to giving into what at times can be relentless peer pressure. Parents should teach their teen to turn around and walk the other way if a friend or classmate tries to persuade her to do something that feels wrong. Hanging out with peers who refuse to cave into peer pressure can help a teen hold her ground.

    Considerations

    • Parental influence carries more weight than most parents realize, Tom Hedrick, founding member of The Partnership for a Drug-Free America, explained to WebMD in a September 2011 article. Remember to give your teen a little space and don't assume that he'll obey your every wish or command, adds Hedrick. Teens bounce back and forth between wanting independence and relying on their friends and finding solace in being dependent on the home front.

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